Relationship is somewhat troublesome

Good day, peeps! 

I am so blessed to be surrounded and loved by good people including my dear family, friends and colleagues. This is one the prior reason why I am not desperately looking for a partner or be in serious relationship, I received enough love from these people. Yeah, you might say that form of love differ from the one you received from the loved one (i mean boyfriend, BAE or what so called name), but for me as long as these kind love are genuine, long lasting and secured, that's enough for me to be contained. 

Frankly speaking, I never been in serious relationship with someone before. Back on the old days, when there were a few guys who try to approach me to know more than just a friend,   in a good manner I just declined to do so (yes, friend zoned it is). I said I have already a boyfriend or fiance or any other excuses that I could give just to cut that to go any further, which I was’t at all. It is not like I am a choosy girl or what-so-ever, I am not even pretty to shush them away but it is just me is the problem. I just dont feel comfortable with myself when I am shy because I really dont know how to react or respond with that 'call'.

I have encountered some experiences before with my pretty close male friends, that I unknowingly know that they turn to like me more than a friend. I really thought that the way they act towards me were just not more out of concern as a good friend. I misinterpreted the signal and I still feel bad about it. How would I expected that they would like me when I am little bit boyish appearance, not even sweet talker and polite. And due to that, I prefer and comfortable to befriend with male friends who are already married and have serious partner (so I am secured that they will not fallen for me). 

However, there was one person that I gave special excuse for me to be in some sort of relationship and it lasted for a year I think before I made a decision to end it. I did mentioned about this special friend a few times before in the previous entries. Skip about how we first met. I didnt expect that we can become closer, and he did have a girlfriend before I knew him and due to some reasons, he broke up definitely not because of me. Yeah, unexpectedly again, I have a male close friend who is single. To cut it short, there were times he act differently, somewhat quite confused me and boost by a tragedy happen in our friendship that finally make took me a courage  (after ask a few close friends if mine and him) to ask him directly about the direction of our friendship whether as a friend, friend with benefit or someone special that he even picture me in his future (too symbolic, see not even as girl friend okay because I always seek for a serious one if I want to commit with). He answered the 3rd choice. It wasnt an easy task for me to take the step to ask him but at least I tried my best. . At least I gave myself opportunity to be in some sort of relationship, out of friend zone. I tried as good as possible to be one. But for one who had been single and independence for a long time then started to commit in some sort of relationship, who doesnt even know the rules, all I think is “it is okay for him if I do this” in this relationship  all the time and it was overwhelming to me. I finally realized that I really not ready to be in relationship yet, I’m still a self-love person ever, Allah know me the best. I made a decision we should stay  as a good friend. However, I still feel bad towards him up until now the way I gave excuses to him by provoking certain issues where there wasnt even an issue at all and dont even think about his side, I was being too childish and selfish. That I was regret. He is  truly a good friend and good husband material though. I still owed him a sincere apology. Will tell him later when right moment finally come, hehehe.

And when I watched this KDrama, Wok of Love's scene, I realized this is another reason why I found being in relationship is somehow troublesome to me  and I am not even think to be in one unless Allah leads me to this road and when the time has finally come. Main tarik tali in relationship was so lame and unprofessional. Especially me is the biggest problem, a bold, reckless and straight forward person,  stone headed and hearted, and I am so unpredictable. Tell me, what is worst than this, hehhee! That’s why when people ask me when, I want to get married, i gave them a lame answer, “when the time finally come” because i dont even know when I want to have a serious partner. When the time has finally come, Allah will leads you and the significant other together and you will know that he’s the one, insha allah. So, let Allah do his Almighty awesome work to write our love story and I will do my part to be a better me and better future wife and mother material, okay.

Everybody has their own time space, time frame. Be single, be in relationship and getting married, all these moments are so unpredictable and you put yourselves gambling every second in it. Just enjoy the ride, guys!

Klinik dan Aku

Assalammualaikum dan a very Good Afternoon, peeks!

Pagi tadi, aku pergi Klinik Kesihatan Seri Kembangan sebab nak check telinga aku since last Saturday waktu aku swimming telinga masuk air. Since then, pendengaran aku terganggu. Dah la dengan ada majlis keluarga, konfem orang cakap aku sombong sebab panggil2 tak bersahut, padahal mmg xdengar sebab telinga bdengung jek. Dah satu kerja aku dah kena explain kat orang, "kalau nak cakap or panggil ke, cakap kuat sikit sbb telinga problem" 😅😅. Dah tu kalau berbual, aku kurang respon dari kebiasaan sbb xdengar butir2 perbualan sudahnya aku banyak menyengih jek. Nampak x sshnya bila Allah tarik nikmat tu. Paling x menahan, bila Tadarrus Al-Quran tu mmg plg terkesan sbb xdengar bacaan ko tu betul ke tak, sudahnya asyik merepeat jek bacaan sbb x konfiden. Tu yang buat aku nekad ke klinik utk check up. Normally if swimming telinga masuk air, it will take only the most pon 2 hari jek back to normal hearing. So mmbr suggest g check takut ada infection walupun tak de sakit or telinga berair.

 

So, aku decide utk pergi klinik kerajaan sebab lama na tak visit. Boleh buat observation for their services dan ground observation utk diri sendiri since pagi ni tak de hal yang penting nak kejar. Overall the services were good and fast for gov clinic and hospital. Urusan keselurhan aku dari ambil no, pendaftaran, basic check-up like body temperature and bp, tunggu masuk utk check by doc only take 1 hr and 40 mins. Mgkin tunggu ubat skali will take less than 2 hrs procedures. Alhamdulillah,  xde infection kat telinga, Dr kata bersih even ear boogey pon clean. Dr kata mungkin it took longer for my ear back to normal functioning. Dr just suggestion kan utk kurangkan keselesaan tu pergi farmasi utk ear drop. Case settled.

There was something I want to share kepada sesiapa yang baca blog aku ni, please apply cuti and follow ur parent bila them all go to clinic or hospital walau atas urusan ambil unat sekalipun. Sedih and sebak bila aku nampak sowg chinese aunt sorong wheel chair husband dia untuk buat appointment check up, terkocoh2 tolak wheel chair dengan nak buat urusan semua. Salute kat that old chinese aunt, tak merungut pon. Hati aku rentan tgk scene tu, menitik gak la air mata aku. Perlahan2 aku seka takut orang lain perasan, walupun nampak tough tapi hati aku tisu humanity ni. Tapi rakyat Malaysia ni masih ada yang prihatin, sowang middle-aged indian woman tolong chinese aunt td sebelum aku sempat hulurkan bantuan. Mungkin that indian woman tu nampak chinese aunt td perlukan bantuan. 

Aku percaya, what comes around goes around. Please, spend time teman parent kita g klinic, hospital or apa2 la urusan yang dowg kena buat yang melibatkan beratur, menunggu tu. Kudrat dowg tak kuat mana pun, keupayaan deria pon tak sesihat orang muda. Lagi satu, kalau wife tu mengandung buat check up, please yang suami2 tu apply cuti temankan jugak. Rezeki kan Allah yang bagi. Dowg mengandung zuriat kowg tu. 

***Be considerate and kind pada orang lain tak kira mana kita berada***

Ni plak aku nak ceritakan kisah aku dan klinik. Career as a Doctor mmg impian aku sejak kecik lagi. So, mula duduk boarding school kalau selagi berpeluang jumpa Doc aku akan pergi, sebab aku suka interview Doc yang rawat aku tu tanya pasal career as a doctor, qualification and all those things related to it. Ak jarang fallen sick, ada time tu aku buat2 sakit mata la, cirit la jadi ada peluang keluar asrama visit Doc. Aku budak MRSM, based on trial SPM aku, aku di offer utk buat fast track preparation untuk buat medical ke Ireland that time. Tapi aku tolak sebab parent aku cakap too early and better masuk matriculation dulu (biasalah parent kan insecure lain macam nak2 kena antar anak kesayangan dowg ni ke overC). Waktu tu aku dapat rasakan yang ibu aku kalau leh nak aku jadi cikgu, so dia indirectly bgtau yang dia tak setuju dengan bdg doctor ni. 

Bila admitted to matric, aku punya excited utk jadi Doc ni dah berkurangan atas satu sebab. Rata2 aku tanya pengalaman Doctor yang aku interview, semua cakap kena rajin baca, per day they have to memorize details reference book more than 10 pages, effort pulak 200% weh kena letak. Satu bahana yang mmg since kecik aku tak leh nak cope, baca buku! Kalau program nilam tu pilih buku yang plg nipis, berwarna dan bergambar untuk tarik minat ak membaca. Novel mmg haram aku nak baca la dulu. Macam mana aku belajar? Frankly speaking, aku fokus 100% kat kelas or lecture hall. Fokus aku mmg dasat sampai orang sebelah cakap ngan aku pon aku tak perasan walupun aku respon kat dowg that time. Mmg payah nak tengok aku buat revision kat rumah atau bilik. Sebab tu Allah jadikan setiap benda hidup tu seimbang imbalan dia. Subhanallah! Walaupun Allah jadikan aku boleh la dikatakan sedikit cerdik, tapi aku jenis malas  nak ulangkaji. Kalau kowg tanya aku, aku salute orang2 yang rajin sbb rajin leh jadi pandai dapat lebih sikit dari orang yang cerdik ni. Ok, nak dijadikan cerita disebabkan itu aku make up mind pilih career len, not a doctor walupun result matriculation aku lps untuk apply as a doctor ( bkn 4 flat ye 😂). Kebetulan, waktu tu PM kita Pak Lah naikkan sektor pertanian, so aku pikir byk peluang kerjaya dalam bidang tu plus my biology teacher suggest jadi la Doctor Pokok, kerjaya yang susah mengikut perkiraan beliau (masa tu lebih berupa cabaran beliau utk aku). Sudahnya, aku apply Sains Pertanian di UPM as my first choice masa apply UPU utk degree aku followed by bidang education in Math, Bio and Sains dalam pelbagai pilihan universiti tempatan. Padahal, tak pernah tersenarai dalam pilihan career waktu kecik aku dulu. And here I am still stucked in this field.

**lanjutan cerita pasal aku**

Tetiba semalam aku terdetik dalam kotak fikiran aku nak jadi doktor medic sebab aku nak buat volunteer work kat mana2 camp refugees atau mana2 country (keep on moving depend on keperluan services dalam volunteer tersebut). Nampak macam menarik. So, is medic lah sebenarnya jalan takdir career ak? Sebab skunk ni field aku ni pon seem ssh untuk aku kecapi like something is not in place in my life journey. Too much uncertainties and the road seem blurred in my career path. Aku just keep on moving fwd dengan apa depan mata berserta back- up plan dan tawakkal semestinya. I am born to be a fearless. I am very intriguing to know what my life lead to, may Allah ease my journey. Amin.

**the end of the sharing** 

The faces of Me

The Japanese say you have 3 faces

The 1st face:

You show to the world

The 2nd face:

You show to your close friends and family

The 3rd face:

You never show anyone,

The truest reflection of who you are..

But for me, I showed all my faces to everyone in this world because that made who I am, I am being myself, no copyrighted!

The normal me almost the time..

 

Me when I let myself to sweat on..

 

 

Me when I exposed to food because I love food..

 

Me when I put on make up

 

Me with different hijab style (hijabista😉)

 

Me when I love to put on my cap or hat

 

 

Me when I let my shades or glasses on

 

    

Not including me making faces..

(I just realized i didnt have them in my collection because I deleted them after posted it on my social media 😂😂)

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What ever I have my faces on, that's always my real me with different feel and emotion,

I am not afraid to expressed them in front of the people. Dont worry if people dont like you, because we also dont like some people. It's okay. At least you know the real people around you 👍🏻👍🏻.

Express yourself to the world, let them know the real you!

Simplicity, Patience and Compassion

Hello, strongers!

 

Can you guess what is this?

Another side

 

 Front angle

.......

This is a pod of a parennial tree (unknown id)

Near my glasshouse where I always come to visit my friend's plant collection, there are this parennial trees planted along the roadside. Like some other parennial trees, they have a season of flushing, flowering and falling leaves. I love to watch this season rotating all over the time, it's so beautiful to witness this plant behaviour.  

When they started to fall (the leaves), you can see a hanging pod on the branches. Not much, around two or three per tree. I wondered how the pod looks like right into my eyes because the trees are tall, and what you can see from below it pitch black like a wide tumbel-like shape hanging upside down. So, I started to search for the pod at the ground believe that they fall down too. But never found one. They somehow just disappeared when the season changed and starting to flush the new leaves. I even ask my friend about to look for the pod if he found one since he more often to visit the glasshouse, but he said that it was hard to find because the pod will break when they fall from that height, he had witness the fallen pod and it cracked in front of him. Yes, he might be right although I think at least, I can find the broken pieces just to end my curiosity. Normally, when I am curious, I searched for the info and ask people who know about it directly. If neither both of the method worked, I just hope one day I'll find them. There will always answer to everything.

And miracle do happens to those who waits (patience) and I always believe in miracle and good things will happen at the right time. And hope always the last effort when your hands out of reach. That make me live as simple person and yet compassionate with things happen around me because I found happiness in them. I believe I found my wisdom in my own way, I think 😊.

And how about you hadling ur curiosity? 

There's still a Child inside me: Make up session

Salam and Happy weekend everyone 😊!

Kowg mesti kadang2 terasa nak mengimbau zaman kanak2 kowg kan, ~remisnishing memory down the lane~. I love during my kids time. Tak payah nak pikir pasal duit, bayar itu ini, tak payah nak get involved dgn drama orang2 dewasa, nk pening kepala harga minyak naik sbb pakai kereta, ohhh really kid last time are the best moments. Tapi konfem kids skunk tak bernasib baik macam zaman aku dulu ~aku bersimpati dan kasihan kat uolls~. 

Weekend yang lepas, aku rasa diri ni worth a treat selepas harungi a busy weekdays tapi dalam masa yang sama malas nak bersesak keluar ke shopping mall or having time to meet people. Kadang2, ada masa yang kita nak masa kita berseorangan kan. Tapi macam aku mmg kerap buat sesuatu berseorangan disebabkan masa kita tak fit dengan kawan2 lain utk buat sesuatu aktiviti, that's the reason I always did things alone, more convenience orang kata. Tapi bila waktu2 macam ni aku lebih suka bersama family atau kawan yang boleh layan gila aku. Kawan yang boleh layan gile aku plak x available weekend maka seperti biasa, cousin aku akan jadi mangsa crime aku la kali ni.

Masa aku kecik2 dulu, since adik beradik ramai perempuan: kakak aku, aku dan adik aku (sometimes adik lelaki aku pon join skali) main masak2, buat rumah pakai kusyen, main kahwin2 dengan jiran, senang cakap yang kiteowg main tu adalah real thing ok. Kalau main masak2 tu, daun, kayu, bunga semua kena petik masak pakai tempurung kelapa guna kayu api masak tau. And kalau main conteng2 muka pon pakai alatan make up betul la kan, make up arwah ibu jadi mangsa. Tapi kiteowg jenis cermat, aktiviti kiteowng keep hidden daripada pengetahuan arwah ibu ~how i missed my mom at this moment, Al-fatihah~. 

 

So ni la mangsa pertama aku, Adik Awin. Muka dia tanned, agak susah nak tahu warna foundation yang sesuai dengan warna kulit dia. Ala, nama pon main conteng2 muka, hasilnya jauh daripada professional make up artist. 

 

Mangsa kedua nilah Atirah, cousin yang rapat dengan aku, selalu layan bebelan aku, yang selalu ketuk duit aku pon ye jugak ni. Kulit dia banyak bekas2 jerawat but I managed to cover them with the concealer. I wish i could do better with her eyebrows tapi disebabkan foundation dia too sticky, lukisan kening dia jadi smeared. But overall, she's happy with the make up. I am happy too 😘

 

Seperti yang awal2 tadi aku cakap, aku deserved a treat. So, I would love to be spoiled like a princess jugak 😂. So, I let my face to be spoiled by Atirah. Best kot orang pegang2 and belai2 muka ko sambil ko relax2 tutup mata. So ni la hasil keje cousin aku tu setelah di touch up semula oleh aku lepas repair sikit tang kening, mata and blusher. Good job for the beginner 👍🏻! 

Sebenarnya lagi best kalau ko treat dia ko dengan facial treatment kan, tapi dalam masa yang sama aku nak support cousin aku tu jual barang2 make up, so tu yang keluar idea main conteng2 muka tu 🤣. But at least, boleh upgrade skill make up selain daripada dapat satisfaction to look beautiful kan. 

Weekend kowg macam mana pulak?

🤔

🤗🤗🤗

Apa2 pun make yourself to the fullest okay!

Jenis Mudah Terhibur

Ada tak sesiapa yang kowg kenali jenis yang mudah terhibur, dengan kata lebih mudah ialah mudah tergelak? Aku ada termasuk la aku sendiri. Ramai yang mengandaikan bahawa orang mudah terhibur ni adalah orang yang selalu memendam kesedihan dalam diri. Lalu yang demikian, beliau mudah untuk mengekspresikan ketawa untuk menutup kesedihan yang dialami beliau daripada disedari orang lain. 

Aku kurang bersetuju dengan pandangan tersebut. Walaubagaimana, sememangnya ketawa merupakan salah satu terapi merawat kesedihan. Aku lebih bersetuju dengan pendapat bahawa orang yang mudah terhibur ni adalah orang yang yang sangat sensitif. Sensitif terhadap perubahan yang kecil dan skop nya meliputi keadaan sekeliling, jiwa serta perasaan. Disebabkan sifat sensitif inilah buat mereka mudah lebih bertindak balas lebih cepat dalam mengekspresikan perasaan mereka tatkala itu termasuklah ketawa berbanding mereka yang kurang sensitif terhadap perubahan. Kebanyakan orang yang mudah terhibur ni mudah menangis, ya itu merupakan tindakbalas perasaan mereka. Oleh yang demikian mereka selalu disalah ertikan dengan orang yang sensitif (lebih kepada sifat negatif iaitu beremosi). Tetapi sifat yang mudah beremosi bergantung pada individu mudah terhibur tersebut untuk menangani perasaan negatif tersebut. Tidak semua yang jenis mudah terhibur ini jenis yang selalu beremosi menangis dan sebagainya.

Apa jua jenis kawan2 anda, anda perlu berterima kasih atas kehadiran kawan2 anda yang mudah terhibur ini. Disebabkan kewujudan merekalah hari2 anda ceria dan bermakna. Ketiadaan mereka menyebabkan anda kesunyian. 

Aku sangat appreciate dengan apa jua kawan2 senang dan susah aku tak kira apa jua mereka daripada jenis yang mudah terhibur atau tidak. Mereka adalah sebahagian daripada hidup aku. 

Rajin2 la click vid kat bawah, vid aku dan kawan2 aku yang mudah terhibur 😍😍

Vid candid xperasan tengah rolling

Vid first take untuk dedicated buat seorang sahabat yang jenis kurang terhibur yang tak boleh join vacation kami

Vid second take. 

Siapa dan apa jua kelemahan dan kelebihan kita, kehadiran sahabat tu sentiasa melengkapi kehadiran masing2 😊

I love raincoat

"Rain, rain go away. Come again another day" definitely wasnt my favourite song when I was a kid because I love to play outside when it was raining. When it's raining, I love the sound of the dropping rain on the roof, floor and etc, the smell of it wetting the grass, the tar road and the coldness that it gives to the earth. It gives such as calm and peaceful to me. The best part is I can wear a rain coat. For me, rain coat is cute to be wear when it's raining. It cover your body with sound of ticking droplets of the rain on it. Hahaha, I know it's funny for me to think and feel that way, but I am having fun doing so. 

 I dont need to wait for the rain to fall just to wear my favourite rain coat. See, I can also wear it in the glasshouse to prevent me getting wet from watering the plants 😂😂. The most inportant thing is I am having fun for the things that I did. 

How about u guys? Do you love something for having fun? 🤗

Hoping that u always having fun in your life.

How we celebrate CNY 2017

Happy Chinese New Year to all!

It was a great moment when family can reunite especially during raya festival. This is the second year celebrate CNY without our beloved mom. Time flies so fast! I still can remember the last day when I was with her, just like yesterday. Thank to Almighty Allah for giving us strong heart and mentality to past this difficult years without her existence. 

Omar and Azizah's family started the reunion at my cousin's wedding (the groom's side) at Kota Bharu. Unfortunately, I cant be there coz the bus ticket was sold out. So, I was able to join them the first day of CNY at night at my sister's crib in Paka, Terengganu. I was not in good shape, having a cold for the past 2 days was so not cool. 

Vid of my restless sick day 😂. I am not the type of person to sit around when I am sick. I have to do some preparation for the evening Tahlil and bday suprised celebration at night

We did mannequin challenge for the family. It was succeed after two takes, great job guys 👍🏻

After the tahlil recital, at nighy we did a birtdhday suprised for those who bornt in January. It was a wonderful moment when you have family gathering after busy and hectic life in your daily routine. The next morning, other family in Omar Azizah's started to make their way back home, left only Yati Ramli's family which is my family. We spent our holiday there till Wednesday. 

 

 

We went to Gambang for night safari. I didnt realized that we have this kind of places to visit in Peninsular. No so bad although it still lacking and need to be upgraded for some area. The animal are well-maintaned, freed to the environment. You can see many animal from Savannah climate, beautiful! 

 

At the entrance

 

In the tramp to visit the area of animal freed in the environment. The tramp was air conditioned and the windows were shut. We have a tourist guide along thr way to give some infos to related animal and its origin. It was a fun ride 😊! 

 

Tok ayah Ramli and his grandchildren. They all having fun with Tok Ayah 😍😍

 

Rest for awhile for Solat and having some snack at the cafe near to Lion's home. There was a male and a female lion beyond that glass partitioned. We rest until the next show (fire and tarzan show). 

 After gambang trip, we heading back to hotel near Paka for one night to let the kids swimming and play at the beach. 

And that's how we spent our CNY vacation before everyone back to daily routine. It was short but it was a great , memorable moments for sure. Love you guys and thank you for being part of my life.

Before ending my entry, kindly watch the vid of me with my only nephew, Rayyan

Meet shy shy Rayyan

Tutorial how wear specs by Fashionista, Rayyan

Extraordinary Comfort Zone

Last weekend, I attended my cousin's solemnization and wedding. Normally, people at my age who are still single, will feel pressure and worried attending ceremony of their friends or younger relatives that overstepping them and getting married before them, afraid being asking about why they are still single, when are their turn and the questions go on and on. But not to me, I never bother about that. When people asking, I simply answered, "confirmed it will be Saturday or Sunday", or "when you see my name on the card, that's the day" (with the most sweet smile). Sometimes, I jokes around, if it my destiny call for me to get married tomorrow, i'll getting married tomorrow. 

Makcik2 and pakcik2,  getting married is not like we go on shopping and buying stuff, we select, pay and they are ours. Makcik2 and pakcik2, u have been there right and your experiences far more piles up than us, please be more considerate and understanding will you 😏. Dont make people like us feel like attending such ceremony as a burden to us that can widen the gap of our relationship. It's not like we like to be single all the time, gile x nak kahwin kot makcik2 and pakcik2. I voice out this phenomenon on behalf of my friends out there. 

I just enjoy be part of the people who attending the ceremony as long as I have my family to accompany. And I really have a great time. 

 

Me and my close relative waiting before the solemnization ceremony started

 

My cousin, Fatin and her husband, Syafiq on their wedding day. Congrat, couzie!

 

A few of Omar and Azizah's generation with the bride and groom

 

Duck mouth! Like grandpa like granddaughter

 

Me and my baby brother, the only sibs attended the ceremony 

 

With hot single cousins (macam umur sebaya kan 😂)

 

More wefie from us (sila tahan 😱)

 

 

With aunt tersayang (konfius sekejap ingatkan Datuk CT 😍)

 

With aunt also,we are at same age. She already have 2 children. Lama xjumpe makcik ni

 

With my elder niece, Airish

 

Hahaha, many pics of me and Airish being together. Mmg hot mess sgt budak ni tau

 

 

Actually, I am very glad that Airish was around with me during the solemnization and wedding ceremony. Why? Because it found it comfortable from those guys' naughty stares nak masuk line. At least when they saw me with Airish while holding the botol susu, they will think I am married woman, hahahhaha 👨‍👩‍👧. But, ada jugak terlepas jelingan nakal lelaki walaupun Airish was around. Mgkin penampilan belum macam ibu2 kot, cis!

Sincerely, I was comfortable with kids around because I just hate those stares from the guys. It's not like jual mahal, I believed I was meant for someone who worth enough for me, those stares meant nothing to me. That's Allah's call. 

  

 

My new comfort zone, be around kids. 

If someone was meant for you, he will gravitate back to you, no matter how far he wander! So, what's the rush 🤗

Busy Week As a Part time Teacher

Salam dan selamat ber'monday blues', silent reader!

Aku mmg tak berkesempatan nak monday blues sebab hari weekdays dan weekend aku minggu ni sangat full. Hari ni aku ada kena mengajar kelas intensif cuti sekolah pada sebelah pagi dan ptg pula part time cikgu taska. Nampak x gigih cari duit untuk tampung hidup dengan ekonomi yang xmenentu ni. Yang penting selain dapat duit, aku happy buat apa yang aku buat tu. Mengajar tu dah jadi 'mainan' hidup aku, tambahan lagi aku mmg tak reti nk duduk saja, mesti ada jek aku nak buat untuk full fill masa lapang. 

Dah jadi kebiasaan bila cuti sekolah bulan disember aku mesti join kelas intensif dekat Pusat Tusyen Murid Elit di Saujana Impian, Kajang. Rasanya dah almost 4 tahun aku mengajar kat sana. Bestnya kelas intensif ni sebagai tenaga pengajar kau boleh revised balik semua subjek, share teknik belajar dan pengalaman masa jadi student dulu. Kat situ, ko boleh inspired student ko. Student yang join kelas intensif tu pulak dari latar belakang sekolah yang berbeza. So mmg mencabar skill pengajaran kita sebagai tenaga pengajar bagi memastikan ilmu yang disampaikan tu diterima oleh student sbg input yang jelas difahami. Tapi mmg seronok mengajar kelas intensif berbanding kelas2 malam biasa. 

Seperti biasa, sesi pengenalan aku dengan student aku akan kenal nama, latar blkg sekolah dowg dan result terkini untuk memudahkan aku teknik pembelajaran yang sesuai bg semua student dalam kelas tersebut. Penekanan aku lebih kepada tanamkan minat kepada belajar sesuatu subjek tersebut by learning it in a fun way. Aku cakap kat student yang "no short cut in learning process, u have to learn all the way but when you have master the basics then automatically u will find out the short cut". Paham x, sila hadam satu per satu quote aku tu.

Hari ni aku kena skip kerja taska sebelah petang aku sebab kena cover rakan sekerja aku, dia admmited to hospital. Kerja2 last minute tu mmg orang yang kenal aku percaya boleh pas kat aku. Nasib baik subjek yang aku biasa mengajar. Aku mengajar sains, matematik, biologi, matematik tambahan dan english.  Maka seharian aku mengajar. Mmg x dinafikan mengajar ni penat dan cepat lapar sebab ko mengajar berdiri, ditambahkan lagi nak berfikir dan bercakap at the same time.

 

Pastu feedback pun penting untuk performance pengajaran kowg. Alhamdulillah setakat ni mmg student give positive feedback dgn pengajaran aku, tapi kadang2 sedih gak sebab bila time exam x semua yang performed well 😥. Tu baru feedback daripada tenaga pengajar separuh masa, kalau cikgu tu lagi besar pengorbanan dan besar harapan dia pada murid2 yang dia curahkan ilmu tu kan.one thing yang aku respect kat student kelas intensif aku tu, dowg hormat cikgu and very thankful dgn pengajaran yang ko bagi walupun untuk sementara waktu tu. Good attitude!

Ok dah penat menaip. Penat mengajar tadi pon belum hilang sampai berdenyut2 kepala ni sebab ptg td mmg panas jek dalam kelas tu. So, tq having time reading my journey today. Kesian, hari ni ramai cari kita masa mengajar td, tak menang tangan dah reply msg and jawab fon yang tak terjawab tadi. Harap maaf sebab kita mmg busy minggu ni 😂😂. 

 

Teacher rindu la dgn budak2 ni, 3 hari x jumpe. Kita jumpa esok ptg ye. Kat taska kita hot teacher, kat tmpt tuition kita jd hot sister sebab orang sll konfius kita kita ni student ke teacher. Lols✌🏻️

A refresh time sleeping

Ever heard a refreshment to sleep? I created one for me after I found what a lovely mesmeric to for me that drawn me to sleep during a day time. A very good one? 

1) An ambient room condition. Heavy rain outside plus turn on the dime table light create a perfect condition to fall asleep. Cover yourself with fluffy warm blanket. Voila!

 

2) Change your pillow and bed sheets and they smell very fragrant like an aromatherapy to yourself to fast asleep.

3) No one around at that time to disturb you sleep.

4) Most important point, when you miss your bed after so long sleep over at other's places. ✌🏻️😂😂😂

Good nite, jal-ja!

 

The purpose

Have you ever wonder why you live in this world? As easy thinking, things just happen, and I always believe it happen for a reason.

When I was a child, I a little bit sensitive. I always cried a lot, and as I grew up, i felt crying make me a weak person. So, I changed myself bit by bit, until what I am now. Then, I realized, sensitive was not bad at all as long as you know how to handle it with care. It makes me have a big heart, empathy and understand people without saying, and more importantly I have a strong heart. 

And now I know, why I have a sligtly big hand,  because I am a giver. Allah gives me chance to help and give more to people in need. And why I have a broad shoulder, because Allah knows that I can endure burden on my own. Some of thoughts and feelings, I cant share very well to people, even people that are close to me, i kept them myself by thinking other pople already have their own problems and people always response to our problems based what they heard in their perspective not ours, meaning to say, they just 'talk'. I know, people around me had a hard time to know what I really feel and think, as i am good to hide what I felt. My behaviour always being misunderstood. In that sense, people around me always take me for granted. But it's fine to me. 

 

This include when I get sick. As long as I can endure, i endure it by myself. I have a strong mentality, not to feel weak though I get sick. May be because of the strong will, people always find me tolerable with the sickness, though, I was damn very sick. I just feel, it is not alright to just ordering people to do this and that for you when you fallen sick. I really want to be pampered when I am sick without being request. And only my mom knew that. I always want her around when i get sick, gosh I really missed her! 

That is why, when people around me get sick, I always concerned and want to pampered her or him without being request.  Because I know the feeling very well. I did it, so one day when I get sick, there is a person to take care of me without being told. So, if you know people around you fallen sick, please be concerned and ask them whether they need anything. Do it wholeheartedly, dont take it as burden because you will get sick one day too. 

 

I have a fever with a package the day before, though not fully recovered, I came to work and doing things as usual. And this evening, my fever get high back.Yes, may be I dont showed I am sick, thus it is okay people around me always take me for granted 😥. Please body be healthy, i need you as many things come up soon. Normally, i dont depend in medications, but this time it is necessary to boast my immune system.