Relationship is somewhat troublesome

Good day, peeps! 

I am so blessed to be surrounded and loved by good people including my dear family, friends and colleagues. This is one the prior reason why I am not desperately looking for a partner or be in serious relationship, I received enough love from these people. Yeah, you might say that form of love differ from the one you received from the loved one (i mean boyfriend, BAE or what so called name), but for me as long as these kind love are genuine, long lasting and secured, that's enough for me to be contained. 

Frankly speaking, I never been in serious relationship with someone before. Back on the old days, when there were a few guys who try to approach me to know more than just a friend,   in a good manner I just declined to do so (yes, friend zoned it is). I said I have already a boyfriend or fiance or any other excuses that I could give just to cut that to go any further, which I was’t at all. It is not like I am a choosy girl or what-so-ever, I am not even pretty to shush them away but it is just me is the problem. I just dont feel comfortable with myself when I am shy because I really dont know how to react or respond with that 'call'.

I have encountered some experiences before with my pretty close male friends, that I unknowingly know that they turn to like me more than a friend. I really thought that the way they act towards me were just not more out of concern as a good friend. I misinterpreted the signal and I still feel bad about it. How would I expected that they would like me when I am little bit boyish appearance, not even sweet talker and polite. And due to that, I prefer and comfortable to befriend with male friends who are already married and have serious partner (so I am secured that they will not fallen for me). 

However, there was one person that I gave special excuse for me to be in some sort of relationship and it lasted for a year I think before I made a decision to end it. I did mentioned about this special friend a few times before in the previous entries. Skip about how we first met. I didnt expect that we can become closer, and he did have a girlfriend before I knew him and due to some reasons, he broke up definitely not because of me. Yeah, unexpectedly again, I have a male close friend who is single. To cut it short, there were times he act differently, somewhat quite confused me and boost by a tragedy happen in our friendship that finally make took me a courage  (after ask a few close friends if mine and him) to ask him directly about the direction of our friendship whether as a friend, friend with benefit or someone special that he even picture me in his future (too symbolic, see not even as girl friend okay because I always seek for a serious one if I want to commit with). He answered the 3rd choice. It wasnt an easy task for me to take the step to ask him but at least I tried my best. . At least I gave myself opportunity to be in some sort of relationship, out of friend zone. I tried as good as possible to be one. But for one who had been single and independence for a long time then started to commit in some sort of relationship, who doesnt even know the rules, all I think is “it is okay for him if I do this” in this relationship  all the time and it was overwhelming to me. I finally realized that I really not ready to be in relationship yet, I’m still a self-love person ever, Allah know me the best. I made a decision we should stay  as a good friend. However, I still feel bad towards him up until now the way I gave excuses to him by provoking certain issues where there wasnt even an issue at all and dont even think about his side, I was being too childish and selfish. That I was regret. He is  truly a good friend and good husband material though. I still owed him a sincere apology. Will tell him later when right moment finally come, hehehe.

And when I watched this KDrama, Wok of Love's scene, I realized this is another reason why I found being in relationship is somehow troublesome to me  and I am not even think to be in one unless Allah leads me to this road and when the time has finally come. Main tarik tali in relationship was so lame and unprofessional. Especially me is the biggest problem, a bold, reckless and straight forward person,  stone headed and hearted, and I am so unpredictable. Tell me, what is worst than this, hehhee! That’s why when people ask me when, I want to get married, i gave them a lame answer, “when the time finally come” because i dont even know when I want to have a serious partner. When the time has finally come, Allah will leads you and the significant other together and you will know that he’s the one, insha allah. So, let Allah do his Almighty awesome work to write our love story and I will do my part to be a better me and better future wife and mother material, okay.

Everybody has their own time space, time frame. Be single, be in relationship and getting married, all these moments are so unpredictable and you put yourselves gambling every second in it. Just enjoy the ride, guys!

Rose

Assalammualaikum and Happy Sunday, peeps!

Hari ni last class mengajar tuition kat centre untuk tahun ni! Sedih pulak. Bukan apa, dah terbiasa hujung minggu sibuk dengan mengajar, jadi dah kena plan what should do during weekend minggu2 akan datang sebelum sesi persekolahan bermula tahun depan jika masih berkesempatan. Pagi ni terlambat sedikit disebabkan last minute student aku bgtau dia jadi dtg, so lewat la ak 15 minit tiba. Hamek ko!

Naseb baik, jalan tak jammed. On the way passed by pintu masuk UPM, ternampak banyak gerai jual bunga dan belon. Lupe, bermula semalam hari konvokesyen UPM yang ke-40. So mmg dah jadi kebiasaan tepi jalan penuh dengan jualan bunga. Aku mmg suka dengan bunga and benda2 cantik ni. Walupun dah terlewat sempat juga la ushar sekejap kebetulan tengahari nnti dan esok ada buddies yang konvo! Wow, rambang mata dibuat nyer sebab semua beautiful and colorful. Aku ada baca, walupun kita suka bunga, tapi jangan petik! Let it be in its place, its stalk! Ironic sangat. Macam quote kat bawah:

"Love is not about possession,

Love is about appreciation"

Tapi kalau kita beli tanpa petik boleh kan? 

Teringat aku drama korea yang sempat aku tengok awal2 pagi tadi, Shopping King Louie. Hahaha, jangan judged! Ok, ada la part si hero ni belikan bunga untuk perempuan yang dia anggap sebagai first love. Si hero ni kaya tp suka sebab dia jenis yang innnocent and straighforward dengan perasaan dia. Ni kualiti yang ssh nak dapat kat lelaki zaman sekarang. Aku faham, bukan ego yang menjadi taruhan untuk mereka mulakan langkah dalam perhubungan tetapi disebabkan mentaliti dan keadaan sekarang ni menyebabkan kebanyakan step back and lebih baik keep their feeling unknown. Fear of rejection and insecurities. Tu persepsi yang aku lihat pada sudut pandangan pihak lelaki, belum lagi aku ulaskan persepsi bagi pihak perempuan. Persepi always make things complicated though. 

Ok, back to the story tadi, dia beli single orange rose flower pada si heroin tu. Orange rose according dalam drama tu bermaksud first love. Seronoknya lahai dapat orange flower pastu tup tup dia plak ditakdirkan dialah the other half aku, i am so blessed. Dengan izin Allah, insha allah. Kenapa aku rasa macam nak dapat bouquetof flower dalam masa terdekat ni, hehehe! 

Tanpa sengaja aku google, aku jumpa ni! Mostly sama. Terpikir gak aku siapa yang mengeluarkan definisi warna bunga rose ni?

Dan aku jumpa maksud bilangan rose ni jugak ada maksud tertentu. Macam aku, aku main taram jek beli bunga untuk konvokesyen and hadiah utk insan2 teristimewa dalam hidup aku tanpa spesifikasi and maksud tertentu as defined as those in pictures. Masalahnya ada orang ambil pusing ke tahu benda alah ni?

Seingat aku ada banyak kali jugak aku terima bunga masa birthday dan konvokesyen dari kawan2 dan family serta dedication day masa sekolah dulu, dari secret admire (biasalah zaman muda mudi). And ada dua kali aku terima sekuntum bunga rose merah dari kawan lelaki aku. Since kteowg rapat so aku terima as friendship, walupun dgn malu2 bagu tapi dowg tak ckp pape so aku anggap hadiah friendship. I don't know that they really meant something ttg pemberian bunga tu atau just seperti yang aku anggap as gift of friendship. But, baru aku tahu salah sowg dari teman tu rupanya mmg ad menaruh hari kat aku, tu pun aku tahu setelah sekian lama (dia dah kahwin pun😊) .  Bukan jodoh, nampak macam mana Allah aturkan kehidupan manusia. Unknown and mystery. Dan yang sowg ni aku masih lagi menjalinkan hubungan persahabatan, and still counting! And the meaning of the flower still unknown. Well, i'm still looking forward to it while having fun with my life. Apa pun jadi pada masa depan, just enjoy the moment and jangan ada regret.

Ok, sebagai ganjaran, aku bagi edisi terhad selfi aku. Jangan muntah! 

Peace you all ✌🏻️

Single and clever, are you?

https://brightside.me/inspiration-relationships/scientists-found-out-why-clever-people-find-it-difficult-to-fall-in-love-215655/

Pagi tadi, aku terbaca status member aku  artikel pasal kat atas ni, "why clever people find it difficult to fall in love". Mula2 aku ingat ada scientific explanation or proven based on statistical data. So, artikel ni tarik minat aku untuk baca sebelum aku rasa it deserve my 'like' button. Bagi aku, aku tak akan simply baca tajuk untuk 'like', aku akan go through the contents sbb untuk karang even sebaris ayat perlukan effort, so please appreciate to read till the end of the content, then it's up to you la nak share or like or give any comments about it. Ni rata2 baca tajuk dah gelebah konon tau cerita sebenar. What the fish!! Dont judge the book by its cover, thus dont simply judge if you dont know the whole strory (sadly it is happening to many people nowadays, that's is why i just love to write in my blog compared to my IG or FB).

Ok, back to the main story pasal entri ni, apa yang dijangka tidak tertera. No scientific explanation or proven, just a mere explanation with a little bit psycological proven. Well, not all clever people are single and not all single are single. Hahaha, being single and clever at the same time are only gifted person though. Angkat tangan siapa yang nak being single je sepanjang masa? Pada siapa kita nk share cerita dan perasaan yang kita lalui hari2, layan kerenah kita? Takkan dengan kawan perempuan kita je. I believed that every person dah tercatat perjalanan hidup di Luh Mahfuz, and it will changed only by Allah's will. So, in my point of view, apa2 yang melibatkan masa depan, jodoh, perasaan dan kematian, xda satu formula atau model serta scientifically explain those things. 

Tak payah bg cerita orang lain, dalam hidup aku mmg belum pernah jatuh cinta dengan lelaki. Tapi setakat crush dalam drama and realiti kehidupan tu memang ada (zaman remaja ye) hanya sekadar memenuhi masa2 senggang yang ada untuk benda2 lagha, no hard feeling. Sbb aku rasa bercinta zaman tu is such wasting of time zaman remaja kau, dan obviously aku percaya pada jodoh. Observation aku ttg orang lain bercinta dan disakiti, well lebih byk cons daripada pros. Mental kena kuat, sebab bagi aku pemerhatian ak bagi cinta waktu tu macam perjudian, dimana hati jadi taruhan. Paling aku admired, orang yang senang jatuh cinta walupun disaliti banyak kali. Hati ko mmg diperbuat daripada diamond (the most hard mineral in the world) barangkali. So in that sense, aku cuba elakkan  from any intimate relationship. Bukan xda yang tawarkan diri untuk dekat and kenal lebih intim, it's just me who afraid to be hurt and broken. Yeah, that's so being clever because you know and love yourself better. Yeah, that's written in the article about why clever people find it difficult to fall in love.

Tapi x selamanya dalam peringkat hidup aku cuba mengelak untuk terima orang lain dalam hidup aku. Memandangkan aku ni jenis yang susah nak rapat dengan lelaki, so mmg perlukan masa untuk percaya dengan orang lelaki dan serasi. Dan kawan lelaki yang rapat ngan aku tu mmg boleh dipercayai dan serasi dimana kebanyakannya mmg aku boleh rapat sebab masing2 dan ada pasangan (nampak x betapa secure nya aku terhadap diri sendiri, aku konfiden xkan fall in love punya). Fast forward, macam mana secure perasaan pon kalau dah ditetapkan Allah kau fall in love ngan bestfriend ko sendiri pun tak boleh nak elakkan juga. Yang part ni unik sikit, bukan sebab apa, aku getting close ngan dia pon masa tu pun dia dah ada awek dan mmg konfiden xkan lebih drpd friend zone.  In the middle of our close friendship, dia broke up ngan awek dia dan aku tau detailed jugak la macam mana dia broke up. Ikutkan logik kalau sayang, boleh jek teruskan as long as dua dua pihak agreed to so. Kalau tak masa kan ad quote, cinta tak semesti dimiliki. Well, as I said earlier bila bab perasaan ni belum ada reference, formula atau model yang boleh dirujuk dan ada penerangan yang jeles. Kalau ada pakar atau doktor cinta punya philosophy pon tak boleh apply penyelesaian pada masalah cinta semua orang, depend on situation dan faktor2 lain. 

Something happen in between our close relationship, keluar dari friend zone. Yes, i'm taking risk here and open my heart for this close friend. Tapi decision tu aku ambil mudah, banyak yang aku consider, byk yang aku jadikan reference serta buat solat tahajjud, istikharah and hajat untuk taking step into this non friend zone! Alhamdulillah, dipermudahkan seolah2 he's my other half. As the relationship going on well, something seems missing to me. Something yang aku pon xtau apa, sampai la aku confront him better to stop whatever expectation we had in future and stays as best friend. Actually nothing happen in our relatioship, everything just fine but i had to deal with something yang missing tu. I am glad that i confronted him about the relationship, i found the missing pieces. I just feel bad that I used provocation on him as an excuse that was not supposed to bring out. I really dont meant to hurt him that way, because I already broken to make a decision that way. One fine day, I'll tell him that he did really sepanjang tempoh hubungan tersebut and I want to thankful to him for understanding me as a cracked full of flaw and being a great companion till now. Hahaha, sebab dia pun cracked and banyak flaw gak. Tapi tu la, ada banyak dalam life yang terjadi ni xboleh dijelaskan, it just happen, ada yang just stop there and ada yang get twisted and ada yang akan discover soon. 

Orang macam aku, full of curiousity dalam hidup sangat tahu yang tak semua persoalan tu boleh dijawab oleh mana2 orang bijak pandai atau reference sekali pun. Tapi satu yang aku yakin, Only The Almighty Allah know all answers. To find the missing pieces, aku mesti berusaha lebih mendekati Allah, sandarkan pengharapan, jiwa dan jasad aku pada Allah, so He can answer my curiousity and prayer. Alhamdulillah, I find the peace in my heart, mind and soul. 

Siapa boleh bagitahu aku apa itu cinta? Define Love? I'm sure definisi cinta berbeza pada setiap orang. Sebab cinta adalah persepsi yang punya preference kpd setiap orang. Tapi kat sini aku nak perbetulkan statement, kalau lelaki rasa tulang rusuk bergetar bile nampak perempuan, tu bukan tandanya perempuan tu jodoh ye. Itu peringatan tundukkan pandangan sebab time tu syaitan mainkan peranan cucuk hati kowg. Ni pesanan ustaz. Dan Hawa dijadikan daripada tulang rusuk kiri adam sewaktu tidur pun adalah hadis palsu ya. Dulu belajar hadis pun tak pernah come across dengan hal ni. Correct me if i'm wrong. Perkaitan pasal tulang rusuk dalam Al-Quran pon berkaitan pasal perempuan ni macam tulang rusuk, nak luruskan dia kene patahkan dia. 

As for me, Love is a sacred beautiful thing. Love is not hurtful and make us difficult, Lust is! But all the way to gain love, there is pain because it worth enough to be appreciate by the true person. That's my definition of love and it apply to living and non living thing that I loved. Jadi, urusan jodoh tu it never bother me anymore. Aku sandarkan pada Allah dan improve diri untuk be better from time to time untuk dapatkan keredhaan Allah. Kalau nak terbaik untuk jodoh kau, kau kena be better gak. Itu pun usaha kan. Mungkin jodoh aku mmg dengan my bestfriend, mgkin masanya belum tiba. Mungkin jodoh aku mmg dah dekat dengan cuma tak crossing path lagi sebab belum tiba masa lagi (sebab Jodoh kan tak kemana, dekat la dengam kita). And mungkin jugak jodoh aku di Syurga bukan di dunia ni. Whatever it is, aku sentiasa dia aku nak jadi Ainul Mardhiah di dunia dan akhirat untuk bakal zaujah aku, sehingga ketua bidadari Syurga pun cemburu dengan kecantikan dan segala serbi pada kita, hanya untuk my zaujah je, semoga Allah peliharakan hati dan pandangan mata beliau untuk aku je yang boleh sama2 bimbing aku dan zuriat keturunan ke jalan keredhaan Allah. I lost nothing in this way, kalau letak pengharapan pada Allah. Berharap selain dari Allah selalunya akan kecewa kan. Ingat Allah yang pegang hati kita.

Thus, single atau married, clever or dumb that's not matter. When you’re falling in love, you never notice it until you’ve already hit the ground.

—Terry Mark

PATIENCE

Familiar with this

.

.

.

"A long-waited is a long-anticipate lease"

(Penantian suatu penyeksaan)

But not if it come with 

PATIENCE

because

PATIENCE is not about how long ones can wait but

How well ones can behave while waiting!

Sometimes waiting is not a wasting of time, espcially if the thing you are waiting for is WORTH it..

"The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper"

-Bertrand Rusell

A long waited, my 'Peace Lily' is finally blooming.. One of sweetness of my patience!

REWARDS are only for those who are patient with the Decree of Allah 

Though patience is bitter in taste, yet the outcomes are SWEETER than you imagined.

"And be patient, indeed Allah is with the patient one"

Surah Al-Anfal (8:46)

May we all under His Blessings

.

.

Amin

#Love Notes 1: Someone's First Love

I once thought chasing girl was that simple,
Later I realized,
If you really liked someone,
You might not ever noticed it,
All you know is you getting nervous every time you see or be around her,
That make your heart beating fast,
While acting cool to avoid the heart beat being heard or noticed by her.

There was time you tried to prevent misunderstanding,
But somewhat,
At the end of the day,
She didn't seem happy,
Because you are bad in explaining thing.

When you liked someone,
and saw her walked to other man she just met,
You'd suddenly realized that,
You treated her so badly,
Because you wanted to get a bit closer to her,
That moment you regretted it and wished if you'd be nicer to her before.

When you liked someone,
You'll keep every words she said in mind,
Though it sounded simple, lame and cheesy,
like "if the girls says she's okay, it meant it's not okay",
"I like blue",
Sometimes when you were alone,
Those words keep on playing in your ears repeatedly like an addicted song.

Being in loved actually make you have no gut or courage to tell her,
What is your true feeling towards her,
When you do,
You lost your words half way in the throat,
and then here come another portrayed of misunderstanding to her,
Says you make a fool of her,
and she left you thunderstruck alone.

Every night I made a wish in my prayer,
I wish I also in her wish,
Even if I know it's someone else,
Who could make her happy,
Though I know her better in every way,
But the least I could do for her knowing she'll be with someone else,
I want to tell that lucky man,
"Sometimes, she'll pretend she's ok, even when she's sad",
"She spend 5 mins to decide before choosing the same old Indulgunce Cake",
"She doesn't watch where she's going",
Protect and watch her at all time on behalf of me.


Still deep down inside here,
Letting you go to someone else is the last thing I can do,
and I still prayed and wished that I am the one for you,
For the rest of my life,
Because I LOVE YOU!

(written by me inspired by a man side)

P/S: There was a guy using name #Mr.AmariSoul in FB and IG who is the author of the best seller "Reflection of A Man" in Relationship-Dating & Mate-seeking Categories that really inspired me with his writing. What he wrote was what I already have in my mind about relationship which is mostly what we woman need and feels towards a relationship. I doubt Mr.AmariSoul is a guy since he kept secret about his true identities. He said the profile is not necessary since he need no "fame" but a change! If he is a guy, he's too far brilliant and must be in many failed relationship before (just joking).

Behind the story of da' soul thinker 1: My role as a Daughter

Once in a while...
I give a deep thought and start pondering
about my role in life so far..
My brain summon up to recall the previous memories
what I have rolled up to until now as a daughter...

I have been told that when I was a kid,
If I didn't get what I want, I always pulled a crying scene..
To stop me from crying out loud,
they gave me a bottle of milk, and guest what, I stop crying!
I wonder if my parent annoyed with my crying scene, do they?
';might be..probably..who didn't?
If I was in their shoes I might felt the same..annoying! Haha
Yes, I always expecting for the worst result or answer so that I can give myself more options
and counter measures..
that thought leave me as a flexible person that you see me now..

Thus when I was in kindergarten, I hate crying!
For me, only a weak person did cried...
Obviously, I don't want to be weak...
Then, I controlled myself no matter what happen
I have to endure my tears from weeping,
at least not in open..
I lied if I said I don't cry anymore,
I did, just all by myself, out of people sight...
Then, when I grew older..
I started to think..
that crying can't sum up you as a weak person,
Somehow, the tears can make you a stronger person too...
I am just hiding it, don't want you to keep worrying
May be, both of you take me as a cold person because I didn't cry
when I see you fighting yourself from your pain in the hospital bed
I did cried inside cause I have to be strong for the people I loved..
I have this assumption based on my observation,
For example, people who were laugh...
didn't mean that they were really happy and satisfied their life..
they just hiding their true feeling and worries...
and of course, they have the reason for the hiding
They don't want their loved one to worry...
Same assumption can be applied in crying too

I want to be a daughter
which they can be proud of,
Who can they depend on when they grew older and older...
I am not sure up untill now, did I have make my parent proud of me?
Yes might be, I do make them proud when I scored excellent results in UPSR, PMR and SPM
might be, they are very proud when I was the first one in my mum's and dad's family who entered the boarding school..
probably, I did them proud when I enrolled 1st class degree during my bachelor degree
Likely when I was offered to do straight away my phD without master degree, they were proud
but those do not ensure that I will be good daughter that they can be proud of in future...
That's why I keep praying that they will given longevity and healthy
Thus I can prove that
I am worthy for them as their daughter that they can be proud of..
One day and that day will come, Insha Allah...

As a daughter,
I don't want to be such a burden to my parent,
I just want to a good and filial daughter to them...
Though sometimes I did foolish and naughty stuffs,
that was normal for grown up people would do..
but then I regret.. I learned and not repeat the same mistake..
People who did the same mistake was a fool..
Some people says that I am gifted and smart,
Sometimes being a smart person will become a disaster
If it not come along with the wise thought..
People who come with brain usually not that hardworking but they do work smart..
I prefer to be hardworking,
hard works will get paid and succeed along the way either sooner or later
Yes, indeed, Allah is the Wisest and the Best Planner,
He know the best and being fair of His creations
Night comes after the day,
Rainbow comes after the rain
Happy comes after sadness
and every weakness comes a superiority
So being a smart wasn't bad at all,
starting from my middle school, I have been given a scholarships
that way can lessen my parent's burden,
So that they can concentrating their financial on my other siblings
that time I realized I started to stand on my own or being independent in the other word..
way too independent I guest..
As a grew up, less and less story about my life I updated with u both..
because I don't want both of you to worry about me...
Not because you both are not my important person in my life...
Indeed, you still are and forever..
But I just have get to use it and don't want to add up the grief on your shoulder anymore
hope you will understand that

Being as your daughter,
taught me a lots,
I learned that nobody was perfect,
so it's okay to be an imperfect person and be around them.
I learned that money is important but wasn't for everything,
so that I have to value it, live the life in modesty and humble.
I learned to live life with dignity,
So that people will acknowledge and respect you,
I learned that life wasn't always good and smooth as it expected to be,
So I give all my best to live without regrets and put less expectation in everything.
I learned that if I want people to love, respects and trust me,
So I have to love, respects and trust them first.
I learned when life getting harder,
So you know I am the chosen one to be tested and beg for His Guidance,
I learned when others turning back on you,
You still have both mum and dad back you up,
I hope I will be a good, filial, and the one that you can be depend on
and...you can be proud of..as your daughter!
your precious and pride...
I love you both, mum and dad!

Kewujudan dan kehilangan!

Assalammualaikum dan Salam Sejahtera!

Selamat berpuasa bagi semua Muslim seluruh dunia! Semoga kedatangan bulan Ramadhan kali ni lebih bermakna dan berkat berbanding yang sebelumnya dengan peningkatan amal ibadah yang wajib dan sunnah berteraskan nawaitu kerana Allah Taala. Jangan lupa saling ingat mengingati dan bersederhanalah dalam semua perkara, sesungguhnya apa yang kita miliki adalah nikmat dan pinjaman semata-mata. 

Apa yang bakal korang akan baca di bawah mungkin sedikit sebanyak buat korang berfikir dan bermuhasabah sejenak. Entri ini aku tulis secara random setelah sekian lama aku tak mengemaskini blog ni! Bagi yang sentiasa mengikuti penulisan aku dalam blog ni ribuan terima kasih aku ucapkan atas kesudian korang membacanya dan mohon maaf sekiranya tak dapat update selalu dan mungkin ada penulisannya bersifat syok sendiri. Aku menulis  (x kira di blog or status ig or fb) sebab aku takut satu hari nanti aku lupa siapa aku, kesedihan dan kegembiraan apa yang telah aku lalui dan siapa orang-orang penting dalam hidup aku. Mungkin tak semua yang boleh dikongsi ramai tapi sedikit sebanyak ada buktinya kewujudannya!

We live for a purpose! Sehingga hari ini aku masih berpegang pada tag-line tu! Short but meaningful to me. Disebabkan masa kecik-kecik aku (umur around 4-5 tahun) aku a little bit sensitive  orang-orang sekeliling aku membuatkan aku nekad seawal usia 6 tahun aku dah tak nak nangis dan ambil pusing benda-benda yang aku rasa hurtful baik dari segi kata-kata dan perbuatan. Aku anak kedua dan aku ada seorang kakak, adik perempuan dan adik lelaki. Mungkin kalian pernah came across about anak nombor dua ni pelik dan unik. Let me corrected it. Actually sesiapa yang dilahirkan dahulu sebelum kalian tidak kira kakak atau abang yang berjantina sama dengan kalian, secara psikologinya kalian akan alter karakter kalian mengikut keperluan dan kehendak kalian. Lama kelamaan ia menjadi habit. One fine day nanti aku buat entri khas untuk anak no2 ni daripada pandangan dan pengalaman aku.

Jadi dari situlah bermulanya anjakan paradigma dalam hidup aku untuk divert my sensitivity terhadap kata-kata dan perbuatan orang lain dengan tidak mengambil pusing perkara yang kurang pentingnya pada diri aku bahawa aku ada tanggungjawab dan peranan yang lebih penting dalam hidup ini berbanding dengan coklat aku dimakan oleh akak aku atau orang irihati dengan aku sebab aku comel dan lebih talent dari budak-budak yang suka nyakat aku (lol).

Percayalah bahawa setiap kewujudan itu ada hikmahnya. Dan korang adalah salah satu bukti kewujudan tersebut. Kadang-kadang, apa yang kalian buat itu kecil tapi sumbangannya besar terhadap orang-orang tertentu. Jadi, jangan berfikir bahawa diri korang tidak berguna dan jangan pertikaikan siapa kita di mata manusia, yang penting siapa kita pada Allah. Mungkin kewujudan dan kehadiran korang tu kurang disedari tetapi kehilangan dan ketiadaan korang pasti akan dirasai.

Biasanya, kita akan merasai kehilangan sesuatu itu sekiranya sesuatu itu ada mengambil sedikit ruang dalam ingatan dan hati kita. Jarang sekali, kita akan merasai kehilangan sesuatu itu sekiranya kita tidak pernah mengambil berat kehadirannya, kewujudannya dan peranannya. Kita juga tidak akan merasai kehilangan sesuatu benda yang tidak kita hargai dan tidak kita ingini dalam kehidupan kita.

Ada sesetangah kehilangan itu memberikan kesedihan kepada kalian sebab rasa cinta korang pada benda atau orang yang korang hilang itu. Firman Allah SWT di dalam surah At Taubah, ayat ke-24, bermaksud:

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): “Jika bapa-bapa kamu, dan anak-anak kamu, dan saudara-saudara kamu, dan isteri-isteri (atau suami-suami) kamu, dan kaum keluarga kamu, dan harta benda yang kamu usahakan, dan perniagaan yang kamu bimbang akan merosot, dan rumah-rumah tempat tinggal yang kamu sukai, – (jika semuanya itu) menjadi perkara-perkara yang kamu cintai lebih daripada Allah dan RasulNya dan (daripada) berjihad untuk ugamaNya, maka tunggulah sehingga Allah mendatangkan keputusanNya (azab seksaNya); kerana Allah tidak akan memberi petunjuk kepada orang-orang yang fasik (derhaka).

Kecintaan yang berlebihan terhadap perkara-perkara diatas mendapat ancaman keras daripada Allah kerana kita tidak pernah memiliki walau satu pun daripada semua nikmat yang disenaraikan tersebut. Keterikatan dan kebergantungan kepada sesuatu yang bukan milik hakiki kita boleh mendatangkan kekecewaan apabila kita kehilangannya. Rasa memiliki inilah yang akan melemahkan kita sebab ia akan menjadikan kita kecewa dan sedih yang amat sangat apabila Allah menarik nikmat-nikmat ini daripada kita. 

Jadi, jom sama-sama mendidik diri supaya kurangkan kecintaan dan kebergantungan terhadap orang atau benda-benda yang kita cintai melainkan Allah SWT. Cinta terhadap seseorang mungkin kita bakal dilupai atau ditinggalkan tapi Allah takkan tinggalkan hambaNya sekiranya kita ditimpa musibah. Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim! May Allah blessed all of us! Amin

Sesuatu yang mendamaikan

Assalammualaikum dan Salam Hari Rabu, kalian!

Tengahari tadi aku telah melakukan sesuatu yang memelikkan. Belum pernah aku pergi kedai runcit, beli majalah. I repeat, "MAJALAH" bukan KOMIK, ye! At first, aku dah ambil Majalah Wanita, Fauziah Gous as cover girl dia but then I found Mingguan Wanita keluaran 8-14 Mac, Nelydia dan Raja Ema lebih intriguing. Seperti mana kepantasan aku berjalan, memandu, berfikir, begitu juga dengan tangan aku mempunyai skil yang sama untuk grab majalah tersebut dengan sepantas kilat tanpa membelek isi kadungan majalah tersebut.  Memang mudah bagi aku untuk buat keputusan bila melibatkan pemilihan antara 2 majalah tersebut, cover yang menarik dan gerak hati! 

Belek punya belek, aku jumpa sesuatu yang best dalam satu petikan cerpen dari keluaran majalah tersebut dimana kata-kata bait yang disampaikan sangat menyejukkan hati. Tak perlu kata-kata romantis yang berbunga-bunga untuk buatkan jiwa terbuai oleh pengucapannya. Penyampaian yang cukup jelas dan tegas disamping penuh simbolik.

    Dania, telah banyak yang ingin melamarku, orang yang datang ke rumah adalah orang-orang istimewa. Umumnya memiliki ketua di tanah kelahiran  mereka. Namun ada yang datang dari luar pulau, hanya untuk mendaftarkan diri sebagau mertuaku.  
   Dania, mereka sangat cantik, namun aku hanya mahu menjadi imammu. Aku hanya ingin menemanimu, tak hanya di dunia ini, Insha Allah hingga akhirat nanti.
  Lamaranku yang ditolak, tidak membuatku putus asa memilikimu. Rasa itu semakin menggebu-gebu bukan kerana kecantikan wajahmu yang berhasil meluluhkan hatiku. Namun kecantikan hatimu yang belum aku temukan. Semoga penilaianku tentangmu tidak berlebihan. Penilaian ini aku buat, bukan untuk merayumu, agar kamu mahu menjadi isteriku melainkan sebagai wujud kekagumanku atas karya ciptaan Allah, yang telah mengenalkanku denganmu.
    Dania, setelah pulang menimba ilmu di Mesir aku akan melamarmu kembali, tunggulah kehadiranku. Aku berharap lamaranku yang kedua beiring redha Allah dan kita sah menjadi suami-isteri, menjadi imam dan makmum yang saling berlumba meraih restu illahi!                  

-Faruq Zaein-

Aku akui, sememangnya bukan semua orang tertulis takdirnya untuk bertemu dengan pasangannya yang telah ditentukan dalam Lauh Mahfuz itu indah dan mudah. Ada yang berkali putus cinta dan kecewa yang pada awalnya menyangka perhubungan itu kekal sehingga diakad nikahkan, tanpa diduga putus dipertengahan. Ada juga yang bercinta jarak jauh 3-5 tahun lamanya, siapa sangka jodohnya adalah sahabat baik yang setia bersama susah dan senang. Beruntunglah sekiranya sudah ditetapkan olehNya bahawa cinta pertamanya adalah jodoh untuknya. Barakallah! Allah mempunya rahsia yang besar yang Dia tentukan untuk hamba-hambaNya. Sesungguhnya, Dialah Maha Mengetahui akan semua perkara. Dia memberi apa yang hambaNya lebih perlukan bukan yang hambaNya minta.

Kenapa perlu bersedih wahai hati sekiranya jodoh yang ditetapkan untukmu tiba lewat?

Bukankah orang-orang yang bersabar itu telah dijanjikan oleh Allah besar ganjarannya...

Allah telah menetapkan sesuatu yang lebih baik setimpal dengan kesabaran hambaNYa untuk jodohnya,

Mungkin masa itu tiba lewat supaya kita dapat memperbaiki kelemahan diri kita,

Mungkin masa itu tiba lewat untuk pasangan kita juga memperbaiki diri mereka untuk menjadi yang terbaik utuk kita,

Mungkin masa itu tiba lewat untuk kita lebih kenali Allah dan diri kita,

Kehidupan di Bumi Allah itu ternyata indah perjalanannya sekiranya kita betul-betul cinta pada Allah,

Sesungguhnya cinta Allah itu lebih azali haknya dan tidak pernah mengecewakan hamba-hambaNya.

Allah itu Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani zatnya.

..."dan ingatlah bahawa tidak pernah Allah turunkan sesuatu ujian itu diluar kemampuan hamba-hambaNYa"

  

Semoga Allah pelihara hati, perasaan dan diri ini untuk orang yang benar-benar berhak ke atas hambamu ini. Insha Allah, kita sama-sama perbaiki diri kita dan istiqamah dalam melakukan perubahan yang baik kerana Allah Taala.

Exquisite way Of Affection

I have this precious friend of mine,
One of the good that I can't keep losing,
The one that gave me some valuable experience in life,
In  a way to learn the journey of my life heading to,
Unexpectedly being able to open my heart for him,
Accepted him for the way he was,
Without conscious, freely, willingly to share and care,
In return doing it with no doubt to put an expectation,
For this relationship would lead to,
All I know,
This pure feeling always bestowed as a gift,
From the Almighty Allah SWT,
Thank you to let me feel and experienced it,
Though, both of us might not meant to be destined together,
Indeed, Allah you know the best for us,
The secret lies behind it always intriguing and beautiful,
Thus, I put all my heart and soul to you, Allah!
Please accept me as one of your lover,
So that, I will become a better person,
before the right time and the right person to come,
to claim that he is the true owner of the left ribs of mine,
I will be lenient, Insha Allah!

This precious friend of mine,
He seems to have a hard time now,
Rather than be busy and stress with his research and part time income,
As he is a hardworking, diligent, highly motivated guy and always give the best shot,
This kind of things will never be difficulty for him,
That side of him which I respected the most,
But deep down inside,
The tiredness and restlessness showed in face told me otherwise,
Just looking at him that way somehow hurt my feeling,
The feel like he was hurting himself,
I wish I could help and share the burden that he carried around in his mind,
So at least, it could lighten it and put him in ease,
As a friend, I just can't ignore the situation he have been through,
I know that he was too decisive and serious about something,
Something that not randomly to share with anyone,
Something that determine his future life with someone,
Obviously,
I know he want to give the best impression in front of this someone when they meet up,
To look good and best in many ways,
May be he was thinking deeply on this matter that he shouldn't at the 1st place,
To reach the expectation of someone,
Without realize, he was loosing his trueself,
The simple truth is if someone like you or otherwise,
He/She will accepted the way you are including your flaws,
Indeed, everyone wanna look good in front of the person he/she like,
but never lose your true-self and become another person.
to make up to the expectation.

To my dear precious friend of mine,
You are already shine the way you are,
People like you because you are being you all the time,
Not pretending, stand and be true what you are thinking and believe,
Didn't care less about people judging about you,
The way you smile, it came from the bottom of your heart,
Pure, genuine and sincere,
That's the charming part of you,
Though, your heart looked tough,
but I know you are a little sensitive guy,
you always forget and never dragged the sensitive issue far,
You manage to get back to the real you briskly,
That is you that I know,
which make you even cuter in a way,
You might not realize this,
but the people close and stick around you know well of you.

Though I cannot reach my heart and hand towards you,
Helping you in handy passing through your hard time,
Like I always do is pray that your mind, heart and soul will come in peace,
So that, everything you work out come clean and ease as you wish,
Visually, you might think that I don't even aware of your circumstances,
Truly I did,
but I know you can handle it very well, dear buddy!
If you can't manage it, you know where to find me.

When I cared for someone (my family and dear friends),
It didn't need me to stick around them and asked how you being doing all the time,
It's enough for me to see from a far how they being doing,
Because I am a person with a big hearts,
My hearts was tender and soft,
That's why I can't show off my affectionate towards people randomly,
I don't want what I feel being caught easily,
I live a simple life and I am not selfish,
What make people I cared happy,
That is my happiness,
 and That's is the way how I show my affection,
Exquisite yet mysterious!

"The best love is the one that makes you a better person, 

without changing you into someone other than yourself"

Love Notes for my future husband #1

Ajari Aku by Anuar Zain

Totally fall for this sing. The lyrics was so simple but yet meaningful and deep. Wanna dedicate this song to my future husband and the only the true owner of my rib. But, before the true owner come and claim his rib, wanna hear that 'guy' sing this song for me just once please (wishing for this wish come true very soon): ~_^

Ajari aku tuk bisa
Menjadi yang engkau cinta
Agar ku bisa memiliki rasa
Yang luar biasa untukku dan untukmu

Ku harap engkau mengerti
Akan semua yang ku pinta
Karna kau cahaya hidupku malamku
Tuk terangi jalan ku yang berliku

Hanya engkau yang bisa
Hanya engkau yang tahu
Hanya engkau yang mengerti
Semua inginku

Mungkinkah semua akan terjadi pada diriku
Hanya engkau yang bisa mencintaiku

Hanya engkau yang bisa
Hanya engkau yang tahu
Hanya engkau yang mengerti
Semua inginku

Hanya engkau yang tahu
Hanya engkau yang mengerti
Semua inginku

Ajari aku tuk bisa mencintaimu

Hopefully you guys enjoy the song too. Let share some happiness and love!

Is it a call?

Assalammualaikum dan selamat bermalas-malasan!

Memandangkan bulan ni adalah bulan bahasa, aku harap aku dapat mengemaskinikan sekurang-kurang satu entri aku tentang puisi sebagai sokongan and memertabatkan bahasa kita. In shaa Allah! Lama sungguh aku dah tinggalkan bab menghasilkan nukilan-nukilan untuk pemantapan bahasa Melayu aku yang diakui semakin tercemar keasliannya. Aku akan cuba sedaya upaya menghasilkan satu nukilan puisi tersebut sebelum tamat 30 nov ni. Kalau tak sempat, aku balun pantun 2 kerat pun okay kan, sebagai tanda sokongan aku untuk bulan bahasa ni. Fighting!

Hujung minggu ni aku banyak habiskan masa untuk preparation untuk mengajar kelas intensif matematik tingkatan 2 dan 4 yang start esok sampai 26 dec ni. Opss, kowg tak tahu ke aku ni partime tutor? Baru-baru ni student home tuition aku yang amek UPSR tahun ni call aku dia dapat 5A's. Suatu perasaan yang tak terungkap dengan kata-kata dan terpamerkan oleh perbuatan. Baru aku tahu perasaan cikgu-cikgu and ibu aku (yang merupakan cikgu tusyen juga) bila anak-anak didik dia berjaya! Well, congratulation to all students and teachers for all efforts you have put into this success. This is a beginning of following ups and downs in ur life, dear kids! Don't take it all for granted. Stay low and calm! 

Lepas aku penat mengadap bahan-bahan intensif kelas tu, aku ajak Joshua (kucing aku) kuar jalan-jalan naik kereta kasi rehat sikit mata aku ni. Sejak berlaku insiden kehilangan Joshua yang aku sendiri tak nak recall, aku makin care kat Joshua. Sesungguhnya perasaan kehilangan itu amat menyakitkan. Dan banyak pengajaran yang aku dapat dari insiden itu. Contohnya, kalau kita ditimpa musibah, make sure calm urself. Bila dah bertenang, then you can think and act wise and accordingly. Then, doa dan tawakal. Our prayer being heard. Emotional could bring you nowhere! 

Penghibur dikala senang atau susah, Joshua!

 Joshua yang egoistik! Rasa mcm nak lempang2 manja tau.

 Ni sape yang nak drive ni? 

Pandai pulak merajuk bila kena marah. Alololo, tomei! Oh, 1 more thing I discover pasal Joshua ni, dia lebih paham kalau kita speaking ngan dia. Haha, so funny!

And.... after the incident, I also realized something. Have you guys ever feel that there is one person that you to share your stories with either happy or sad (rather than family and BFFs)? Lately I realized that there is one person that 1st crossed in my mind when having a trouble (like a rescuer or life-saver la). Tapi yang bab sharing citer biasa bukan on the spot la, will be update later on ngan dia. Insiden kehilangan Joshua tu sebenarnya telah menjatuhkan ke'cool'an aku depan dia. Malu sangat okay! Aku bukan senang nak tacink2 ni especially depan lelaki. Ntah macamana, waktu call dia inform yang Joshua hilang, leh plak kantoi meleleh depan dia. Kalau la ada, alat yang boleh erase memory kan, aku nak erase memori time aku tepon dia sambil menangis. Boleh jek aku tahan tapi sebab kehilangan Joshua tu lebih memberi impact dramatik dia, so aku lost to hold the tears. Tetibe aku teringat tag-line dalam filem Pisau Cukur yang bunyi dia ala-ala cam ni la, " kat depan siapa lagi kita nak buat benda-benda bodoh selain depan orang yang kita sayang". Hahaha, sememangnya banyak benda-benda bodoh yang aku buat selalu kantoi depan dia. Hanya, Allah yang tahu betapa malunya aku terhadap dia. Tapi aku tetap kena maintain cool. Adoyaiiiii!!

Kadang-kadang datang naughty thought aku yang mungkin it is the call, and the call is him. I mean, what if dialah pemilik asal tulang rusuk aku? Hehehe, don't want to think further deep. All I know, he is a great friend. Jodoh tu datangnya tak disangka-sangka dan dengan orang yang kita sendiri pon tak sangka. Yang penting penemuan dan rasa cinta bila anda ditemukan dengan jodoh anda itu indah. Kalau dah jodoh, sepayah mana pon kita berlari dan nafikan, dia tetap datang menemui kita. Dan semudah manapun kita mengejar dan mengiakan, kalau dia bukan jodoh kita, ddie tetap bukan untuk kita. Semuanya telah Allah tetapkan. Just wait and pray for the best! 

"Sekiranya engkau telah menciptakan dia untukku dan imam kepadaku nanti, Engkau permudahkanlah jalan kami dan satukanlah hati kami. Semoga penyatuan hati kami membawa keberkatan dalam kehidupan kami. Sekiranya benar dia adalah pemilik asal tulang rusukku yang kau pinjamkan kepadaku, Engkau semaikanlah rasa cinta, rindu dan kasih sayang terhadap kami, Biarlah rasa cinta, rindu dan kasih sayang itu bersandarkan Engkau Ya Allah. Dan sesungguhnya, cinta, rindu dan kasih sayang terhadap Engkau jualah yang satu dan hakiki. Amin"

Stay peace and in love, peeps!

Philophobic Psyco comes with a love note?

Assalammualaikum dan salam muhibbah!

Holla dear lovey-dovey peeps. I found this verse interesting while I reading the "5 Tahun 5 Bulan" malay novel written by HLOVATE. She's one of my favourite malay novelist because I found her writings are very realistic especially when she tried to tell about the real life of teenagers whom seek for excitement demands but the same time not deviate from the right path of Islam, and how they overcome it and distinguished it between good and bad, faith and lust. Most of the time, while reading her books it seem like it reflected myself in her character (obviously, the main character, hehehe).  Terrific isn't? Here's my recommendation, if u want to spend your time wisely, have a pleasure to read them.

Now, let have a peek into this verse. U might think that somehow most of the lines sound corny but you can't deny for them to be true and we experienced it in our life, though!

Have u ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing u hadn't?
Or saying nothing and wishing u had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say!

Don't be afraid to tell someone u love them
If u do, they might break ur heart..
If u don't u might break theirs

Have u ever decided not to become a couple becoz u were
too afraid of losing what already had with that person?
U can't tell ur heart what to do
It does it on its own
Without u even realize it

Have u ever wanted to love someone with everything u had,
but that other person was too afraid to let u?
Too many of us stay walled up becoz they are too afraid to care too much
For fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all

Have u ever denied ur feelings for someone
bcoz ur fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we afraid ..
Afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what other might think,
afraid of what will be found out about us
But every time we tell a lie,
The things we fear grow stronger..

Life is all about taking risks and it requires u to jump,
Don't be a person who has to look back
and wonder what they would have done,
or could have had

What would u do if every time u fell in love u had to say goodbye?
What would u do if every time u wanted someone they would never be there?
What would u do if ur best friend died tomorrow and u never got to tell them how u felt?
(even u don't care anymore)
What would u do if u loved someone more than ever and u couldn't have them?
What would u do if u never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family
and they know that I loved them?
People live and people die

If u died tomorrow (God forbid)
I just want to tell that..
U would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

(written by HLOVATE)

What is ur 1st impression when u read those verses above? Whom did the verses referred to? Based on the novel, actually those verses was a forwarded email from Bat (Johanna's best boy friend when studying Medic in Aberdeen) to Johanna after he found out that Johanna has a conflict towards someone she knew for the short period in Malaysia before she further studied in Aberdeen, Along which at first she just taken him as a sister-brotherhood relationship. But from day to days, their feeling towards each other seem complicated. Sometimes they got mad and jealous without any particular reason to be felt that way have yearned them to miss each others in this long distance relationship (cute though). So, this complicated relationship caused a tiresome and bothered Johanna. That's why Bat try to send email at least to ease Johanna's feeling after his counter verbal face to face with her failed. He knew it very well that Johanna is a guarded up girl when it came about lovey-dovey thingy. Okat, that's it. Want to know more, please kindly read the novel. :p

Love comes in many forms. Love towards your parents, sibs, bestfriends, boyfriend, friends, husband and wife and etc. Here, I want to specify on unknowingly feeling that begin to grow between a boy and girl whom started their bond as friends without any other intentions (like having a crush or whatsoever). I know many boys and girls out there have facing this kind complicated lovey-dovey issue in your life that keep bothering your peaceful mind. Tiresome, I know! Because I am in that circle too, yeay! Johanna's character in the novel really reflected myself. You might think that Johanna has a philophobic issue (philophobia defined as phobia to fall in love with someone).

From my point of view who pursued the same character, it is not all about the philophobia issue. On top of that, we just love ourselves more. We love and care ourselves from getting hurt or something that might break our heart. We know ourselves better than anyone else, looking hard from outside but fragile and soft inside. That's why, Allah make species like us very well wall-guarded heart so that we tend to not easily fallen in love with a guy. So, harmless flirt won't affected us at all. It is not because our heart built of crystal or titanium which is firm and rigid to be broken down. It is a gift as a self-defense (love-proof) for being hurt from our creator, Allah S.W.T.  Every happens for its reason, buddies!

Indeed, Allah is the Great Planner and ascertain of His Creations. Creatures and human-beings are made by pairs. May be, we don't be meant to be meet in this life but it is very certain we will be united in hereafter which is definitely eternally.  Thus, when we have complicated issue regarding this confusion feeling on someone, rely on HIM and you will not be disappointed. If you really like or love someone, channeled the love devotion through Allah instead of the person whom you loved because He's the one who gave that feeling to you to love and beloved. It is afraid if you tell that person which is uncertainly he/she meant to be with you, Allah will dim the love you devoted towards her/him. So, ask consistently in your prayer for HIS guidance whether that person are really meant to be with you or otherwise, Allah surely will lead you the way. If you really meant to be with her/him, how strongly you denied your feeling, how far you ran from her/him, you will be hers/ him at the (this is the reliance that I strongly believe) and you can feel the love towards her/him are contented, which is not based on lust. But if she/he didn't meant for you, pray that Allah will conciliate your heart to accept HIS provision. Amin!

I, on behalf of my species kind (the so-called philophobia) think that:

1) We are a loyal-lover, hard to find (hehehe)
2) We can patiently wait until the right destined man appear
3) We are seeking for a serious relationship (marriage) when we are READY. Really not into couple-relation-type (bila couple boleh menyebabkan kita jd ketamakan dimana sifat memiliki & mengusai seseorang itu menjadi2 sedangkan hubungan itu belum pasti, really troublesome!)
4) Our heart is highly guarded up
5) Others might seen us as rough, tough, brutal and outrageous but indeed we are shy, sweet and loveable ;)
6) Pro in keeping our feeling towards someone (it is better to be left unspoken and undiscovered)
7) We feel that when you loved someone you will try to care, protect and comfort her/him unknowingly by him/her (cukup sekadar dari kejauhan)

Have fun to watch this video. 

Really love the message behind it and love the T-shirt too says that " Sarcasm is the service that we offered".

A credit to the famous vlogger, Matluthfi90 for this video


So, lover-doveyers out there, stay peace and happy.
May Allah love all of us!

(It's 5th Ramadhan and it's my Birthday in Hijri calender. Happy to be born in this Mubarakah Month. May I will be a better Muslimah from time to time, Amin ~_____^)

The so-called Poem

Assalammualaikum and Happy Saturday Morning, guys ~_ ^

Hey, sleepyhead! Come on, get up from your bed now. Get yourself with some light exercise and healthy breakfast that lead a great and healthy lifestyle (Haha, pravo Norsyalina with the 'wise' thought above, have you get your head knock up somewhere else..).

Sorry, guys it's not like the sun have arisen from the west this morning. It's just happen that i can't going to bed after being awake at 5 a.m. (i'm kinda envy that some ppl can still in under blanket, come on it's weekend!!). It makes my finger actively want to type something in my blog. It's random and just pop up in my mind. I'm neither a song-writer nor a poetry but myself already a true artist. 

<This is how it started>

I'm sorry...

Another day has passed just like this again,

This nervousness that I can't fix,

That my heart felt like dysfunctional and won't stop throbbing,

Causes it getting bigger and bigger..

Hence to occupy and accommodate the overwhelming feeling towards you,

But  there are lines that I can't get crossed over it....

Still.. I'm still hesitating,

I can't even say it that you are still shining so brightly no matter how far you are,

That's why I don't think I can get close to you easily,

and yet you are so freely moved,

That's must be why I just keep circling around you,

Because you must be inside my tiny hidden heart,

and I don't need a permission to do so...

<and ended> 

Haha, pretty short! "Ade ku kisah"! It's by far can be qualified as a poem but as long as it came genuinely from my brain and pure heart...it is an ART! I dedicated this so-called poem to someone special to my life including you. Enjoy your weekend and be happy no matter how hard your life is. ^_^

Keep your heart alive and healthy so that you able to protect people that you love. 

Saranghae!!

Cukuplah Mencintai Aku dalam Diam

Assalammualaikum dan Salam Ukhwah, ladies and gentleman!!

Tadi ada baca satu notes di Facebook dari Realiti Fantasi dan aku terpanggil untuk copy, paste and post untuk sharing dengan semua gadis-gadis dan untuk teruna-teruna di luar sana...Sesungguhnya, Cinta yang kekal dan Abadi adalah Cinta terhadap Maha Pencipta kita, Allah Taala.

Selamat membaca dan berkongsi

CUKUPLAH AKU MENCINTAI DALAM DIAM ♥
(must read dan renung2kanlah..)


Kalau kita sukakan seseorang,
jangan beritahu si dia.
Nanti Allah kurangkan rasa cinta padanya
Tapi luahkan pada Allah,
beritahulah Allah.
Allah Maha mengetahui siapa jodoh kita ..


Cintai Dia Dalam Diam,
Dari Kejauhan Dengan Kesederhanaan & Keikhlasan


Jika benar cinta itu kerana ALLAH maka biarkanlah ia mengalir mengikut aliran ALLAH kerana hakikatnya ia berhulu dari ALLAH maka ia pun berhilir hanya kepada ALLAH
"Dan segala sesuatu Kami ciptakan berpasang-pasangan supaya kamu mengingat kebesaran ALLAH."
(Adz Dzariyat : 49)


Tetapi jika kelemahan masih nyata dipelupuk mata maka bersabarlah, berdoalah & berpuasalah
"Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah satu perbuatan yang keji.
Dan suatu jalan yang buruk."
(Al Israa' : 32 )


Ketika kau mendambakan sebuah cinta sejati yang tak kunjung datang,
Allah SWT mempunyai Cinta dan Kasih yang lebih besar dari segalanya & Dia telah menciptakan sseorang yang akan menjadi pasangan hidupmu kelak.
Ketika kau merasa bahawa kau mencintai seseorang,
namun kau tahu cintamu tak terbalas
Allah SWT tahu apa yang ada di depanmu & Dia sedang mempersiapkan segala yang terbaik untukmu


Cukup cintai dalam diam
bukan kerana membenci hadirnya
tetapi menjaga kesuciannya
bukan kerana menghindari dunia
tetapi meraih syurga-NYA
bukan kerana lemah untuk menghadapinya
tetapi menguatkan jiwa dari godaan syaitan yang begitu halus & menyelusup


Cukup cintai dari kejauhan
kerana hadirmu tiada kan mampu menjauhkan dari ujian
kerana hadirmu hanya akan menggoyahkan iman dan ketenangan
kerana mungkin membawa kelalaian hati-hati yang terjaga


Cukup cintai dengan kesederhanaan
Memupuknya hanya akan menambah penderitaan
menumbuhkan harapan hanya akan membumbui kebahagiaan para syaitan


Cintailah dengan keikhlasan
Kerana tentu kisah Fatimah dan Ali Bin Abi Talib diingini oleh hati
tetapi sanggupkah jika semua berakhir seperti sejarah cinta Salman Al Farisi..??
".. boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu.
ALLAH mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."
(Al Baqarah : 216 )


Jangan memberi harapan pada yang belum pasti,
kelak ada insan yang bakal dilukai,
Jangan menaruh harapan pada yang belum tentu dimiliki,
nanti hati yang kecewa sendiri.
Sebaliknya,
gantunglah segenap pengharapanmu kepada Yang Maha Memberi,
nescaya dirimu tak sesekali dizalimi,
kerana Dia mendengar pengharapanmu setiap kali & Dia menunaikannya dgn cara-Nya yang tersendiri


Cukup cintai dalam diam dari kejauhan dengan kesederhaan & keikhlasan
Kerana tiada yang tahu rencana Tuhan
mungkin saja rasa ini ujian yang akan melapuk atau membeku dengan perlahan


Kerana hati ini begitu mudah untuk dibolak-balikkan
serahkan rasa itu pada Yang Memberi dan Memilikinya
biarkan DIA yang mengatur semuanya hingga keindahan itu datang pada waktunya
"Barangsiapa yang menjaga kehormatan orang lain, pasti kehormatan dirinya akan terjaga."
(Umar Bin Khattab ra)


If you really love her, you won’t touch her.
Not even the slightest bit.
You’ll protect her dignity and sacredness as a muslimah.
Just hold her in your heart for a few more years ..
then you can do it the halal way


“Sesiapa sahaja yang memberi kerana Allah, menolak kerana Allah, mencintai kerana Allah,membenci kerana Allah & menikah kerana Allah, maka bererti ia telah sempurna imannya.”
(HR. Al-Hakim)

-kredit kepada Realiti Fantasi-

Enjoy reading!! Peace ^^,

P/s dari pihak penaja: Nantikan kemunculan post-post "bulk" aku di hari-hari akan datang. Not in mood in completing last words for the entries  that have been compile bulky as drafts in the blog posts. Hahaha..."sabar itu sebahagian dari Iman"~ ayat syok sendiri macam la org nak baca entri die, hehehe~