As for My MoM, I Need to have a Stronger Heart!

Assalammualaikum dan Selamat mengharungi cabaran kehidupan, dear peeps!

A few days back, I received a bad new where my mum was admitted to the hospital under Cardiology Care Unit (CCU) before transferred to Coronary Rehabilitation Ward (CRW) due her difficulty in breathing. After result of the scanning, there wasn't any problem with her heart. Just, her heart was too weak to pump the blood due to the many blockage of her veins. Thus, she required to do a minor surgery sooner using a micro camera passing through her vein to implant a spring at one of the most 3 highest percentage of the blockage veins to allow the blood flow, the other 2 will be implanted later in 6 weeks interval each. It's either will help the heart muscle improve the heart pumping or (the muscle dead) no change at all depends on 3-4 days heart rate monitoring after the implantation. Anything that involved the heart, the risk is always there. 

Since the Doctor requested for me (by coincidentally he knew that I understand well in human physiology) in explaining scientifically about my mom health's problem, could you imagine how many times should I repeated to explain what the Dr said if the relatives, friends or any other visitors whom asking about my mom condition? May be as for the Doctor, they have been trained to put away their emotion part (or we can prefer it as professionally) to explain the actual state of his/her patient to their patient's family either improving or worsen because it was part of their job and they are not blood related to the patient. How about me? If you guys put yourself in my shoes, how should you reacted or respond when you being told and have to tell other about your mom's condition? Seriously, you need to be mentally well-prepared! As I repeated about my mom's condition to other, the more I have to remind myself that "you have to be strong and be realistic" that my mom is not that healthy anymore and her life could be at stake at anytime. 

When it came something that involved people I cared or loved, my emotional could be comparable like a glass, FRAGILE! I was totally doomed in controlling the emotion and it could take some time to become stable.

I couldn't agree more with the above quotes. As for me, the more we talked when we get emotional, the more it get worsen. Wait until you are emotionally stabilize, then you can talk.

My mom is always No.1 for Me after my Allah and Rasullullah SAW.

This was the 2nd time she was admitted to the hospital this year. Since last the past three years, it was a record that she never failed to be admitted to the hospital due to internal organ infection and low blood pressure under modern medical terms (however she has a medical history follow up with hypertension and diabetic but still under control) but for traditional medical term, she was being "santau" and what-so-ever called. Efforts must be done via modern or traditional ways (but in a right way as long as it didn't diverted from Islam ways) to treat my mom. It was hard to see the pain that she went through. All you need is being strong mentally and physically. I always prayed that Allah will give me strength and I can stand there in front of her smiling like nothing happen to her hoping that it will give her strength to fight her pain and illness. Sorry, mom if you interpreted that as a 'cold' side of me but deep inside it was teary and broken to see weak in that bed. May be I have taken that 'cold' side after my dad and the strength part after you, may be! After all, I am my mom and my dad's daughter.  Experience taught me well to be a strong person. And somehow, LOVE can make your heart stronger.

Species like me who just can't share the problem with anyone (or being secretive about what I felt), I always shared my happiness and sadness, pain and grief with the only Creator, Allah SWT who never failed and disappointed me to help me out to go through all the hardships. No one know yourself better than HIM and yourself. Thank you, Allah!

Tersenyum Lah....♥ (◠‿◠｡)

Ada air mata dibalik setiap senyuman..
Ada kasih sayang dibalik setiap amarah..
Ada pengorbanan dibalik setiap ketidakpedulian..
Ada harapan dibalik setiap kesakitan..
Ada kekecewaan dibalik setiap derai tawa..

INGAT, kita bukan satu2nya manusia dgn segudang masalah…

Tersenyumlah ..
Karna senyum mampu membasuh setiap luka ..
Maafkanlah..
Karna maaf mampu menyembuhkan semua rasa sakit..

Hanya Ada Allah tempat segalanya bermuara..
Kepada-Nya kita berserah atas segala pinta..♥ (◠‿◠｡)

Thank you to all relatives and mom's friends who having time pay a visit to my mom to give support and cheer her up! A thousand thanks to my beloved friends who prayed for my mom recovery and support me. I didn't mean to not tell you about my mom admission to the hospital, it just I don't want you guys to worry about me. Everybody have their own worries, I'm not that worthy to add them up. I always believe that I have true friends. Your loves and cares about me just proved them. Although I didn't tell you guys about my misfortune, our loves telepathed you to call me asking what I have been doing. You guys seriously being great friends. Thank you too for the followed up. Though, I said I'm okay, but my heart spoke otherwise. Your cares have been a great help to me. Love you guys more and more! Kowg kawan dunia akhirat aku. May Allah pays all your kindness. 

Peace you all! ^___~

Just some thoughts: When I say goodbye to my mom before I went back to Serdang UPM, she reminded me to take care and get enough rest as she knew that I got a fever since last 2 days. Our mom is still concerned about her children though she's the one who was sick. That's is MOM! My love towards you grow bigger and stronger than ever!.