A Silent Grief of a Man called a Father

Assalammualaikum and a very good afternoon, peeps!

On last 5th January it turned out that it has been 2 years since my late mom left us back to her Creator, Allah SWT and it also meant that my father had been a single dad for 2 years too.

And all this while I realized that being a man and a father was never been easy especially when we live in a society that upholding the stereotype that "men don't cry" and "men are strong". It must be very difficult to be a man in grief since there is no way tears to be shed. 

I haven't seen my father shed his tear once in my life even the day when my mom passed away. I know that he just suppressed his sadness for his children. It is so unfair for this kind of stereotype because a man is human too who has feeling to be sad. Cry doesn't make you weak but it is also a way to be stronger. Don't worry dad even you cry in front of us, it will never lessen the fact that We love you and You are our 1st hero! 

I wrote this for a man called a father especially for my only dad

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A dad hurts too,

but I never see the tears that my dad cried,

Not once even when my mom died,

I know his heart broken too,

He tried to hold it together and be strong,

Even though his world gone wrong,

He goes through the days doing what he supposed to do,

Unknowingly that his piece of heart has been ripped away too,

So when he's alone he lets out his pain,

If I could imagined,

I want his tears falling like a heavy rain,

Like his world has crashed in around him

So that way my dad will feel the weigh of the burden around him become less,

and he can be stronger again.

Dad..

Although I didn't call or text you everyday,

It doesn't mean that I don't love or care for you,

I knew I took you for granted,

When you were the first one to call/text me,

I am sorry , dad..

I wish you know that,

It is just that I have get used to be this independent girl since I was young,

However I also trying hard to be a lovely girl that can be pampered by you,

Even it is not even close but since I'm only the girl that not married yet,

I want to have this golden opportunity to be a daddy's girl.

Dad,

I want you to know that you are the source of a my quiet strength,

Although you are not here with me,

Your presence will always be missed,

You are my very own guardian angel,

that always be with me till the end,

I love you dad.

"Orang penting ni"

Ada satu kisah yang aku nak kongsi dengan kalian. Kisah yang tak begitu 'fancy' atau glamer mana tapi memberi inspirasi pada orang marhaen macam aku ni. Semoga boleh kita jadikan tauladan bersama.

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Pada suatu tengah hari hujung minggu yang tak begitu sibuk seperti hari-hari bekerja, disebabkan kemalasan yang menebal dalam setiap salur darah yang mengalir dalam badan aku, aku buat keputusan untuk membeli sahaja makanan tengah hari di Food Court Sri Serdang. Tanpa membuang masa, aku menuju ke gerai makan kesukaan aku untuk beli lauk kegemaran aku iaitu ikan keli bakar, sayur ulam dan sambal tempe. Aku ni jenis orang yang kalau makan mesti nak berkuah, jadi aku ambil air asam campur sambal kicap and sedikit kuah ayam panggang, barulah umph makan dengan ikan keli bakar. 

Semasa memberi fokus menuang kuah-kuah tersebut dalam plastik, hidung aku yang sensitif ni menangkap bau sedikit hapak di sebelah kanan aku. Kemudian, sekilas pandang ada susuk lelaki tua yang kurus tinggi disebelah aku mengambil lauk dalam pinggan beliau. Rupanya lelaki tua tu yang biasa aku jumpa di kawasan perumahan aku terutama di gerai makan tepi tasik pada waktu malam dia lepak di situ seusai pulang dari masjid. Aku toleh dan sempat melemparkan senyuman sebelum aku berlalu pergi hendak ke kaunter bayaran.

Sewaktu aku beratur, seorang abang di belakang aku yang lagaknya seperti pelanggan yang sudah biasa di gerai itu memberitahu adik di kaunter bayaran, "Nanti kira sekali ye dengan pakcik Nayan punya. Orang penting ni!". Waktu abang tu cakap orang penting ni, otak aku terus ingat VIP or 'somebody' ke, sesuatu yang tidak menarik minat aku untuk tahu. Lepas tu sbang tu pun sambung, "Kalau dia tak de, siapa nak gali kubur kita, tanamkan kita". Aku terus 'turn on' dengan statement abang ni. Seraya dengan itu, abang tersebut memanggil seseorang yang digelar Pakcik Nayan. Aku teruja nak tahu siapakan gerangan orang penting ni yang daripada yang yang dibualkan tadi pakcik ni penggali kubur. Aku menoleh ke belakang dan tanpa aku sangka lelaki tua yang berbau sedikit hapak tadi la pemilik gerangan Pakcik Nayan tadi. Pakcik Nayan dengan segan menolak permintaan abang tadi kerana merasakan dia terpaksa 'skip' beratur yang panjang tu, tetapi dengan rasa hormat pelanggan-pelanggan yang beratur panjang tadi laluan Pakcik Nayan untuk bahagian depan kaunter  untuk adik kaunter kira supaya bil boleh dibayar oleh abang belakang aku tu. 

Apa yang aku saksikan tadi adalah suatu keindahan dalam hidup bermasyarakat atau lebih spesifik ialah hidup bermasyarakat Islam. Masya Allah! Bahagia sungguh aku rasa tatkala itu sebab dalam keadaan masalah dunia yang memeningkan ini masih ada nilai kasih sayang dan hormat menghormati terutama pada insan yang tiada pangkat dalam masyarakat tapi masih menjadi orang yang penting bagi masyarakat setempat. Di situ aku nampak sebuah harapan.

Apa yang yang hendak 'highlight'  sebagai tauladan daripada kisah di atas ialah:

1) Jangan memandang rendah pada kerjaya seseorang kerana setiap kerja itu selagi halal sama pentingnya pada orang itu sebagai sumber pendapatan dan pada orang lain yang memerlukan khidmat mereka.  Jangan sombong, sebab suatu hari nanti memang kita perlukan orang lain untuk memandikan, menkafankan, mensolatkan serta mengkebumikan kita.

2) Sentiasa berbuat baik sesama manusia walupun nilai itu semakin berkurangan dalam masyarakat kita. Insha allah kalau kita mulakan diri, yang lain akan contohi. Tak salah buat orang lain happy kan.

3) Jangan cepat 'judge'atau 'assume' orang lain. Sifat menghakimi itu hanya sifat zat pada Allah SWT sahaja. 

Aku harap, apa yang aku sampaikan kat sini jadi pengajaran untuk aku dan pembaca lain untuk menjadi yang lebih baik. Amin!

Random: Taurus Girl vs Virgo Boy

Salam and Good-day, peeps 😁!

When I sneaked into my FB account I found this very random status on the super compatible pairing based on zodiac sign. Please be reminded, I am a Muslim and not a person who rely on zodiac readings and by far to believe it at all. This is just for fun since it related to my zodiac (Taurian) and someone  related to me (Virgan). The astrology make some counting and verdict that both Taurian and Virgan fall in the same element which is an Earth element and this pairing is said to have an easy-going and familiar relationship. I cant help myself to smile, not because to agree or disagree with the so-called pairing but more likely to agreed that what was explained about us individually. I think there is a logic reasons why a Taurian and Virgan make a super compatible partner because we are so different yet the difference that make us to complete each other. However, we, individually that holds the character and character is something that can be changed over time. That's make the zodiac sign readings seems irrelevant to me. Like I said, it is just for fun. 

 

 

There is a wise quote on relationship that seems relevant to every relationship that make it long lasting that I want to hold onto:

Learn to ACCEPT the goods and flaws of our partner, 

not TOLERATE because TOLERANCE have certain degree to be hold.

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I've been witnessing a lots of happy long lasting husband and wife, 

it is not always a romantic couple of all times, 

not a couple that always see a rainbow without thunderstorm,

also not a couple who just walk away from the hard times,

but..

They are the couples that sometimes argued with each other although to a small little things,

and they keep on annoyed to each other..

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The important things are what make them stay in LOVE with each other:

Do APOLOGIZE first not because you are wrong but you VALUE the relationship than your EGO,

Do ENCOURAGE each other during HARD TIMES,

TALK about the problems, NOT IGNORE them,

Do TRUST, HONEST and RESPECT each other to let each other GROW,

and REMEMBER that it is always US not YOU/ME in relationship.

May ALLAH bless US with an ETERNAL HAPPY LIFE here and hereafter. AMIN!