Me and Just Me

I am in competition with no one,

I just run my own race.. my own track,

I have no desire to play the game of better than anyone..in any way, shape or form,

I just aim to improve to be better than I am before,

I just want to be me,

The better me..

Unique Relationship: Hijrah Cinta

Inspired by true stories..

This is the stories about this guy and girl, unaware of each other existence become friend and then a best friend! As a single guy and a single girl, they are always mistaken by others as a couple or a lover. It is always a taboo accordingly to unknown common people love relationship book reference, they normally end up as one-sided love or fall for each other. But in their stories, it is a little bit complicated, and fast forward let say they end up to have this out of best friend zone as 'future relationship goal' as agreed by both parties where they found this is a way better than those unfuturistic relationship. 

Time passed, there was elements of very little romance but yet a lots of unknown pressures taken place in their futuristic relationship goal but not as best friendship they had! (Confious?? Let's keep reading.. That is not the highlighted part). As we can predict, their not going so well relationship end up also under agreement for both parties and back together as best friend. 

In normal scenario, can they be as best friend just like before? 

Since the guy had the same experienced before, he expected that the girl will leave him and their best friendship seems to imposibble and afraid that the girl will hated him for what had happened. Like other failure in relationship, people will blamed the guy for it. Buy he valued their relationship same as the girl. They had a real talk over the phone that night when they agreed to end that futuristic relationship. 

In most scenario, the girl will hated for the guy and leave him behind, and moved on!

Yes, the girl moved forward on her life for that not really going well relationship but stay as his best friend. This is what she want to tell the guy!

You did great after all this while!

And thank you, boy..

There is a time i felt regret sending the emails bragging over this not going well relationship,  the feeling you had for me and so on..

And your replied on the untold story on your past, unsettled one..it sound familiar to me as i predicted, 

Was the ground reason that you cant have heart for me though you hv tried as referred to you.. 

That was what my ears heard, 

But my mind and heart says otherwise,

The untold story was true but why i dont think that was the not totally the ground reason, 

Your past make you feel half hearted on this relationship, 

And..

Why i think you lied when you told me you dont have feeling for me,

Because i still can feel the love but not the warmth one, 

You sent the cold one,

You hold in and keep your feeling,

Being secure and guarded up around me,

May be you afraid of hurting.. I think..

But whatever it is,

It dont matter me much..

You and me have put efforts on it to make it really work,

But I dont being fair to you..

The reason i wanted to end all these because i dont find inner peace in my life anymore,

Everything i did seems to be wrong,

I lost my true self,

In the middle of trying to make the relationship work, 

I forget that what really works in your life is the only Creator of the universe, Allah SWT..

I did less and less on my tahajud, Quran and Yasin recital, my dua become shorten after solat..

Allah is the Most Gracious and Forgiven,

To Him i should return to,

He become my priority, 

I want to find back my inner peace, 

My true self,

Once i felt that you are the one who destined to be my imam and zaujah which have been written in Luf Mahfuz,

I believe It might be still..when the right time come despite all those preferences that we had for our future partner,

But what the most matter,

Allah is the Greatest Planner,

He is the one who hold our hearts,

That's His secret,

In order to have a great zaujah you have to be one too..

Alhamdulillah i found my inner peace i've searching for all this while..

Thank you for understanding and accept me for who I am..

I also want to hear that you said,

"You did great, girl!" too.

How can the girl hates the guys because the special bonded they had from the beginning as best friend!

This song delivered the rest of the stories

https://youtu.be/2DbHkjX-C1E

And this is the girl's favourite novel where it was then inspired into movie before she getting know the boy!

Always her favourite, why?

Watch it then you will understand

http://youtu.be/xH51h2Bf9ao

PATIENCE

Familiar with this

.

.

.

"A long-waited is a long-anticipate lease"

(Penantian suatu penyeksaan)

But not if it come with 

PATIENCE

because

PATIENCE is not about how long ones can wait but

How well ones can behave while waiting!

Sometimes waiting is not a wasting of time, espcially if the thing you are waiting for is WORTH it..

"The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper"

-Bertrand Rusell

A long waited, my 'Peace Lily' is finally blooming.. One of sweetness of my patience!

REWARDS are only for those who are patient with the Decree of Allah 

Though patience is bitter in taste, yet the outcomes are SWEETER than you imagined.

"And be patient, indeed Allah is with the patient one"

Surah Al-Anfal (8:46)

May we all under His Blessings

.

.

Amin

Hilangnya Permata Hati

Assalammualaikum dan selamat berhujung minggu, peeps!

Ada sesiapa rindu kita, senyum kambing sikit! Alhamdulillah, aku masih berpijak nyata di Bumi Allah sambil mengutip kekuatan2 yg ada untuk diri aku selepas pemergian ibunda tercinta selaku idola, bestfriend and kawan gaduh pada 5hb Jan 2016. Boleh dikatakan bukan permulaan tahun yang menggembirakan bagi keluarga kami. 

Kami redha dgn ketentuan yang Allah tetapkan untuk kami sekeluarga walaubagaimana sehingga kini masih lagi cuba utk mengadaptasikan diri dengan ketiadaan beliau. Kehilangan beliau memberi impak yg besar pada keluarga kami memandangkan beliaulah menjadi perancang, penggerak, dan penyeri agenda sama ada keluarga atau sahabat2 beliau. Khabar pemergian beliau diterima dgn respons yg mengejutkan di kalangan ahli keluarga mahupun sahabat handai memandangkan tiada khabar beliau sakit beberapa hari sebelum pemergian beliau. Oleh yang demikian, aku sebagai waris yg ada bersama beliau sebelum beliau dipengsankan dan dimasukkan ke dalam zon kecemasan, cuba mengumpulkan kekuatan bercerita kronologi akhir2 pemergian beliau. Bayangkan kalau 10 org bertanya, 10 org tu jugak la ko kene bercerita dr awal ke akhir. Dengan perasaan yg pedih akibat kehilangan dan ko kena flashback memori kesedihan tersebut seperti ko mainkan gulung2 gulungan filem dalam kepala otak ko reverse and forward utk bercerita merupakan satu torture pada diri ko. Satu yg ak boleh cakap, azab! Seharusnya, bagi yg menziarahi kematian tu eloklah bertanya kepada waris selepas waris dalam keadaan tenang dan stabil. 

Sesungguhnya perancangan Allah tu lebih baik dari perancangan manusia. Pada hari2 akhir kematian beliau, kami adik beradik semua ada bersama beliau untuk meluangkan masa. Pada awalnya, since aku dan adik perempuan aku bukan tinggal dgn keluarga, kami pulang utk menyambut kelahiran cahaya mata kedua kakakku yang dijangka akan lahir pada 30 disember 2015. Puteri Ixora Qalisha lahir selepas beberapa hari pemergian arwah ibu. Alhamdulillah, dari pengurusan sehingga pengkebumian jenazah arwah ibu dan kelahiran Aura dipermudahkan. Arwah ibu disahkan meninggal di hospital disebabkan lemah otot jantung, bukti kekuasaan Allah. Jika Allah berkehendaki terjadi sesuatu, maka "Jadilah". 

Pemergian arwah ibu memberikan kesan yg mendalam pada hidup aku, cara pemikiran serta perlakuan aku. Cukup setakat aku berkongsi sampai di sini. Mungkin selebihnya akan aku kongsikan dalam bentuk fragmentasi mengikut kesesuaian entri aku. Mohon sedekahkan al-fatihan buat arwah ibuku, Norhayati Omar, semoga beliau ditempatkan bersama org2 yg Allah kasihi dan dipelihara roh dan jasad beliau dr siksaan kubur dan api neraka serta tanpa dihisab. Amin, Al-fatihah! 

Pemergian arwah ibu sentiasa dirindui. Semoga Allah bertemukan kami di akhirat nanti!