I Miss Her

I hate counting days,

Especially when it comes to memories that I cherished,

And hope not to be forgotten,

Although in 1, 10 or 100 years,

I really wish it stays my mind collection,

Roughly,

It has been almost 9 months my mom had left us,

And that 9 months I struggled to adapt life without her by keep myself busy,

But I keep on missing her,

Miss her presence,

Miss her her touch,

Miss her nagging and bragging about something,

Miss to pull her white hairs and armpit hairs, give her massage, trim her nails, put oilment on her skin, rubbing her hand, 

Miss her voice, her greetings, her long messages,

Miss her recital Al-Quran every Suboh while I was half awake sleeping in the dining hall,

Miss her cooking,

Gosh.. I miss everything about her

I wish in my prayer that I could meet her at least in my dream,

But she never appear,

Because I know if Allah granted my wish,

I will asked for more,

And my mom would feel sad about it too

Pictures and videos are the only visuals that I had to cater my longing for her.

I know the look from my uncles and aunties when they sneeking looked at me,

How they really want me to be around for the family events,

How dissapointed they are when I cant stay any longer for the event, 

Because they really missed my mom too,

I have my mom's look and almost inherited her genes including her character,

I am her junior is all I can say.

I know I cant bragging about how I've been missing my mom, 

I should be thinking my dad's feeling too,

I must stay strong for him,

That's the way will make him moved on and adapt his life without the woman he loves the most, 

He's the one who felt lost the most,

He's the one need to have the most attention this time.

Though our cares towards him cant be compare to my mom,

But at least, he doesnt feel alone without her woman.

This past few weeks,

I always seek for dishes that my mom cooked,

I missed someone cook for me,

Thus, I would feel happy if someone would iffer their homemade cooking for me,

It is not about how the food taste but how the love they put while making food to others,

Make the taste the best,

Mom's cook always the best though!

Me and my late mom

Al-fatihah!

Please, appreciate the moments with your parent and your loved one while they still alive. We dont know when they will be gone. Always be generous to apologize and give forgiveness, dont wait! Afraid that when you realized it's already late for those and you cant bare the regret the rest of your life. Because feeling lost is already unbearable, cant imagine of those regret!