I Miss Her

I hate counting days,

Especially when it comes to memories that I cherished,

And hope not to be forgotten,

Although in 1, 10 or 100 years,

I really wish it stays my mind collection,

Roughly,

It has been almost 9 months my mom had left us,

And that 9 months I struggled to adapt life without her by keep myself busy,

But I keep on missing her,

Miss her presence,

Miss her her touch,

Miss her nagging and bragging about something,

Miss to pull her white hairs and armpit hairs, give her massage, trim her nails, put oilment on her skin, rubbing her hand, 

Miss her voice, her greetings, her long messages,

Miss her recital Al-Quran every Suboh while I was half awake sleeping in the dining hall,

Miss her cooking,

Gosh.. I miss everything about her

I wish in my prayer that I could meet her at least in my dream,

But she never appear,

Because I know if Allah granted my wish,

I will asked for more,

And my mom would feel sad about it too

Pictures and videos are the only visuals that I had to cater my longing for her.

I know the look from my uncles and aunties when they sneeking looked at me,

How they really want me to be around for the family events,

How dissapointed they are when I cant stay any longer for the event, 

Because they really missed my mom too,

I have my mom's look and almost inherited her genes including her character,

I am her junior is all I can say.

I know I cant bragging about how I've been missing my mom, 

I should be thinking my dad's feeling too,

I must stay strong for him,

That's the way will make him moved on and adapt his life without the woman he loves the most, 

He's the one who felt lost the most,

He's the one need to have the most attention this time.

Though our cares towards him cant be compare to my mom,

But at least, he doesnt feel alone without her woman.

This past few weeks,

I always seek for dishes that my mom cooked,

I missed someone cook for me,

Thus, I would feel happy if someone would iffer their homemade cooking for me,

It is not about how the food taste but how the love they put while making food to others,

Make the taste the best,

Mom's cook always the best though!

Me and my late mom

Al-fatihah!

Please, appreciate the moments with your parent and your loved one while they still alive. We dont know when they will be gone. Always be generous to apologize and give forgiveness, dont wait! Afraid that when you realized it's already late for those and you cant bare the regret the rest of your life. Because feeling lost is already unbearable, cant imagine of those regret! 

Urgent meet Up

One thing I love staying in Serdang because it is centre of everything especially when it comes on gathering with your favourite people, an unplanned ad hoc meet up!

I introduced you with some of my favourite people in my life mainly my study journey in UPM. Some of them have completed their masters, some of the almost completed their phD and some of them already qualified to call them "Dr"! There were ups and downs when it came to complete our studies. All of us have face them, and only our circling knew what difficulties we have fought! 

Although it was a very short meet up, a lot of thing and topics we have talked about like the old days. Though every one seems to have different path, we still stayed the same like our youth age. There were so much fun to have this meet up. Actually, we are celebrating our welcoming home party for Elisa (sitting next to blue hijjab lady in the picture), she already completed her doctorate study in Japan and will be flying to Japan back in one week later to continue her postgraduates study for 6 months and Tina (another person who held the cup cakes box) who was a birthday girl in that day. The gathering took place at our favourite dine restaurant, where we would have dine in once a week during our old days, Wong Solo!

There was a moment when we had a chat that reach to the point about life is short. This past few months, we already lost 3 friends that we knew during our degree. Although, we are not closed but we can felt the lost too. It reminded us we are close to dying. So, we need to spend our time wisely. Do what you wanted to do in your life less worrying about what's keeping you stop start doing it, but please make sure that it was worthwhile, so that if we died, we died virtuosly (devout by the name of Allah). 

And here, one of my crime partner to kill time already has kid and one is coming all the way to be born. These favourite and handsome two heroes (Aqil and Hariz) are the prove that woman are strong while studying they still can take care of their children and family. Our second generations will continue our legacy.

Ok, be alive and stay healthy!

Random Morning Greeting Video

Assalammualaikum and Good days, peeps!

Seperti biasa dah menjadi rutin harian mesti nak selfie sebelum sampai tmpt keje depan kamera fon masa memandu utk cek penampilan supaya lebih konfiden dan tampil kemas terutama depan budak-budak. Kalau nak tahu, budak-budak lagi pandai pilih, nak cikgu yang cantik dan comel tau, bukan remaja atau org dewasa jek tau memilih. Lebih2 lagi, budak2 jujur, kalau cantik dowg kata cantik la ko and budak2 ni cepat bosan, so penampilan harian ko pon xboleh sama je. Maksudnya, sehari pakai tudung bawal, hari lain pakai tudung shawl, pastu tdg loose style and the list going on and on.

Apa2 pon dalam etika berketrampilan,  konfiden diri adalah aspek plg penting yang melengkapkan keseluruhan persembahan diri ko depan orang lain terutaman pada perempuan. Seperti kecantikan, konfiden juga adalah subjektif pada perempuan umpamanya, konfiden itu dilihat dari sudut pemakaian, solekan, cara bercakap, berjalan and so on. Tapi macam aku lihat konfiden itu dari aspek yang menyeluruh. Dalam bahasa mudah, orang yang happy and sentiasa positif adalah orang yang konfiden.

Macam ni pon dikira konfiden, sebab rasa diri comel je. Patut budak2 suka (nampak tak ciri2 konfiden di situ)

Ni senonoh dan matang sikit. Matang ke?

Jadi, kesimpulannya apa jua pemakaian yang kita pakai haruslah kalau boleh pertimbangkan mengikut agenda yang bersesuaian dan tanamkan konfiden dalam diri untuk mendapatkan pakej yang lengkap dalam berketrampilan. Aspek dari saiz yang bersesuaian, warna dan tema tu pon salah satu faktor yang meningkatkan konfiden diri. Macam mana nak build konfiden diri paling praktikal selalu tgk cermin, say " i am beautiful", "i am sweet", "i am brave" and seangkatan dgnnya. Minda kita secara tidak langsung memberi respons utk bdan kita bertindakbalas dengan ransangan tadi. Itu magik yang ramai orang tak tahu. Trust me, it works. Tapi kalau tak berkesan maksudnya, kowg sendiri tak yakin dengan kelebihan yang kowg ada sebab kowg selalu terikat dengan pandangan orang lain terhadap kowg. Give a damn about it, please! Kita tak boleh memuaskan pandangan semua orang. Orang akan terus kritik apa jua yang ko buat (this kind of people biasanya insecure dgn semua benda, so sila abaikan mereka dengan masalah mereka).

Okay memandangkan kowg baca entri line by line sampai habis, aku ada hadiah utk kowg! 

Tara..nah video khas utk pembaca2 misteri entri aku! Amaran keras, sila sediakan plastik atau mangkuk untuk muntah. Have a nice day, peeps!

What is your Harry Potter Personality type?

There are a few childhood and teenage memories recollection which I cant still moved on like Harry Potter, LOTR, Naruto, One Piece, Shield 46, Slamdunk and plenty more pages to write down. You can say that i love fiction stories, because i love imagine things beyond. 

Though many books, comics and CDs of my childhood collection lost in track due to frequently of moving things around and being ambushed by my cousin who had same interest, but they still intact in my memory lane. Those good time 😍😍😄..

I took an apps test about my harry potter personality abd this is the result..

Yeah absolute true!

When i read the novem and watched the movie, i saw me in hers.

Definitely a Grffindor!!

Ok have to move on !! Heheh

Me defined Perception

Previous entry, I said that the difficult task was remembering the kids name. Today, I deserved compliments that I can called all the kids' names. Not quite a great achievement but other teacher need a  fews to remember their names. I've been given trust to take care a lots of stuff as well for time management for this kids. 

As a phD background, working partime in that kindergarten there will be expected to have a social gap between the teachers and me which I found it really disturbing. Thus, I am the one who need the break the barrier. What I did was I casually getting involved in their discussions. I need a healthy working station and today, we can getting along quite well. 

See, it is you to decide what kind of environment you need in your life living with others. This is what we called perception, it always different among people depends on how the see things to fit their needs or preferences. Which mean, if you find your work is boring and stressful, that coming from how you see things around you that did not fit your need. 

Let's make a better life! Change for better, it is you the pilot of your life journey, dont let others lead instead. You are the main character of your life story, not them!

Yehaaaaaa!! 

Di luar Comfort Zone: Aku Guru Taska

Hari ni hari pertama aku sebagai guru taska sambilan dari 7.30 pagi-1ptg di Taska De Sayang, Presint 3, Blok E12, Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia. Salah satu antara yang aku buat di luar comfort zone aku sepanjang hidup aku. Satu pengalaman baru walaupun sebelum ni aku ada pengalaman babysitting baby and budak2 yang ada pertalian darah dengan aku since aku sekolah menengah rendah lagi. Bukan babysit jek, nursing orang tua pun ada pengalaman. Sebab tu aku pernah cakap, umur bukan ukuran pengalaman yang kowg ada. Thanks to my late mom and my parent, i had this kind of experiences. Mereka didik aku bukan dengan kemewahan, mereka ajarkan "you want something, you need to earn it"!

Mana2 kerja mesti ada risiko, lebih2 lagi bila melibatkan anak2 kecil. Tapi peluang kerja tu aku tak terima bulat2. Penting utk aku kaji dahulu latar belakang taska yang akan aku berkhidmat. Alhamdulillah, taska ni dapat feedback positif daripada parents and antara yang jadi priority list bakal2 parent yang nak hantar anak2 mereka. Kebanyakan anak2 yang dihantar oleh parent pagi td boleh nampak keserasian mereka dengan guru2 kat taska ni.

Aku ditugaskan bagi peringkat umur 1-2 tahun (toddler) seramai 32 orang bersama 3 orang guru taska sepenuh masa yang lain. So hari pertama aku perlu observe, learn and do the chores accordingly. Tak susah sangat since yang ada ramai guru taska yang berpengalaman. They know to handle the kids and the kids respect them well. Hanya ada a few yang nakal2 sikit but manageable. Seriously, setakat hari first ni tak  tense langsung and aku rasa fun handling kids ni. Kalau ko pandai handle dowg, u earned their trust and respect. Aturan kerja pun tak susah: sorting out barang2 kids from their bags, entertaining them for some activities, change diapers, singing, feeds them and put them on sleeping. Just give the instruction and they will independently did those. Well behaved sangat.

Scene lps semua kids dah diberi makan tengah hari seawal 11 lebih tengahari and put them to sleep, then dah boleh relax! 

Based on previous experience, I know to treat kids tapi aku tak nak get attached sangat this time around sebab ye la aku temporary jek.  Nanti bila kids dah selesa ngan aku,  aku berhenti berkhidmat, kesian kat kids tu and diri sendiri. This morning, without effort utk tarik perhatian kids pon, aku dah di kelilingi oleh a few kids. They all behave and manja plus cute sgt! Kids can see the aura the adults have for them to get to you.

Ni yang tidur tu nama dia Afif, dia orang pertama yang cuba grab my attention towards him, manja suka duduk kat pangku ak jek. Since dia comel sangat,  suka layan dia cakap walupun kdg2 tak paham sbb dia cakap tergagap2, sama ada nervous ngan teacher dia atau byk sgt makan pulut (teringat my friend punya statement). Kat taska tu ramai boys, ramai yang hensem2 plak tu, ni salah satunyer. Untung jadi guru taska ni 😅. Terus doa jika diizinkan Allah bertemu zaujah (my other half) kat dunia ni nak nisbah anak lelaki ramai dari perempuan, anak sulung lelaki insha allah rupa dan peribadi penyejuk mata dan hati. 😊

Task paling susah setakat ni adalah kena ingat nama kids. Tapi since mmg ak dah biasa suka ingat nama students dalam kelas, so this is like 'kacang'. Give me seminggu je, insha allah i will remember them.

Dalam pemerhatian aku, ketegasan dan penyayang adalah sifat yang paling utama kena ada pada guru taska atau mana2 pendidik selain sifat tanggungjawab. Dalam usia inilah mudah untuk mendidik untuk pendedahan pada kids tu yang mana boleh dan tak patut buat. Tak semestinya perlu bersuara tinggi, bernada lembut namun ada ketegasan. Banyak yang aku perlu belajar lagi dalam hal mendidik ni daripada orang2 yang berpengalaman dan harus disesuaikan mengikut keadaan.

Setakat ini yang dulu yang dapat aku kongsikan bg pengalaman di luar comfort zone aku sebagai Guru taska sambilan!

Dear peepers nampak tak aura pendidik kat situ? 

Salam, sekian!

People These Days

People these days,

Sanggup jadi hamba duit,

Sibuk cari kekayaan bekalan sementara sedangkan bekalan yang pasti??

People these days,

Nasib orang yang malang seringkali dijadikan tontonan semata2 bg golongan orang bukan malang, 

Sebagai kebanggaan bahawa mereka lebih bernasib baik dan untuk diperkecil2 kan?

People these days,

Beramal perlukan bukti,

Bukan kah kita diajar buat sesuatu mesti ikhlas?

People these days,

Yang susah semakin ditindas,

Mana letaknya perikemanusian?

People these days,

Liputan melebihi huluran bantuan?

People these days,

Lebih mementingkan hal2 yang tak penting berbanding yang berkepentingan?

People these days,

Suka lakukan kerja yang sia-sia berbanding yang berkeuntungan?

People these days,

Menyanjungi orang yang menikam dia dari belakang?

People these days,

Sentiasa mengambil langkah berjaga- jaga dan mencegah sedangkan bahayanya sudah pasti di depan mata?

People these days,

Sentiasa tidak merasa cukup,

Mana perginya sifat syukur itu?

People these days,

Sentiasa jadikan tahap pendidikan sebagai kayu ukur,

Lantaran dimomokkan jadi jaminan masa depan yang cerah?

Apakah nilai ilmu itu pada buku semata kalau darjatnya letak di kaki?

People these days,

Membantu hanya perlukan tekan "like" dan "😊" sahaja.

Pikirnya pengganti pahala?

People these days,

Buat tanpa guna akal,

Sebab otak di 'brainwashed' atau 'brain washed'? 

People these days,

Kronologi sesuatu peristiswa sering disalah tafsir disebabkan sudut pandangan penceritaan berlainan?

People these days,

Banyak yang dibicarakan lebih sampah dari yang diterima pakai,

Malangnya tempat pelupusan sampah dah hampir pupus, ptt la sampah makin bermaharajalela?

People these days,

Teknologi maju ke depan,

Tamadun mengundur ke belakang,

Bila sesuatu perhubungan retak,

Jari ditundingkan ke arah lain,

Kalaulah kita sedar kita penyebabnya,

Sebab apa?

Jadi hamba teknologi!