My silence

This past couple months, I realized a slight change in myself in communication. This bubbly girl who is very good in talking recently become a girl with a few words. But i still do talking, most of it in my thoughts, abundantly that is why, I find it hard to communicate because I am busy handling talks inside me. So much to blurt out from this mouth but yet nothing coming out. However, I find it is easy when I communicate with stranger. Then, I discovered something through this findings.

This is why you can find many writers or people who loves to write, most of them when you meet them personally, they are people with a few words. Even them acknowledged it. Yeah, you can say I am now one of them, hehehe! People who had many infos or ideas inside their minds (such as writer) need time to deliver out what they had in their minds through their writings. It is not something that can comr out boldly in a few seconds. They need specificity and focused topic or key words to do so. That is why it is more easier when they talk to strangers or reporters or interviewers because because they need a medium to initiate or trigger those ideas, stories or what so called infos by screening them from those bulks in their minds by questioning. 

There are some other people like scientists, artists (paint pics not singer), song writers, engineers or any career that need to be creative and inventive, they have some 'weird' behaviour to give out what they had in minds by instance such as mumbling, many undescribe pics or notes in books, walls and so on. They are not freaks, they just act differently! 

So, when you see someone you know especially closed to you that are not usually quiet, please ask a random topics to them. Help them to release those things they had in mind. Dont assume them being for being emotional or having a hard time. They wont be around you if they are in the state of being emo or having hard time, I guessed. Let's assume it after they respond to your questions, okay. For who are very lucky to read this entry of mine and by chance knew me, when I am in silence please do a favour to ask me something ;) ! I am a person with full of thoughts. Hehehhe!

Notes: I've been inactive upload my activities for my IG and FB for now and may be for future, i feel that i'm in not position to publicly  tell my activities and i feel bad about it. Though i knew, nobody give a damn thing about you or what you write (ooh, that's hurt), though you have many likes or no likes at all. I love to share my write ups to those who really appreciate it, it worth enough for me. 

WORLD #QURANHOUR

Hari Ahad ni bersamaan 9 Zulhijjah, antara hari dan bulan baik dalam Takwim Islam meh jom sama2 join program ni:

Mudah saja, ajak sekali famili, rakan2, jiran sama2 memfadhilatkan program ni selama sejam. Tiada alasan untuk tak buat. Buat dapat pahala! #tamakpahala 

Good job Datuk Rosyam Noor jadi antara tulang belakang yg menyuarakan program seperti ini. Semoga apa yang dikerjakan dapat kebaikan semua orang Islam di dunia dan mendapat keberkatan Allah SWT. Insya Allah.

Favourite Place 1

Guess, which place is this?

Library? Nope..

Yes.. Book stores!

It is my favourite place to visit each time I go to mall alone. I can spend many hours just to read the synopsis at the back at the book. That's is why I prefer to go alone, no rushing thinking that people have to wait for me and just simply having a leisure time inside it! Most of the time, when I went out the book stores, I dont buy any book. I feel bad if I buy them but take an ages to finish them. Book meant to be read, that's what the main purpose the writers wrote them. Their efforts should be credited. Their guinuine ideas and honest views in seeing things on their point of views gathered in their write ups should be embraced. 

I can see the level of maturity I had each time I visit the book stores from comics section to fiction to non-fiction, novels and now more like 'chicken soup' section. And I can see the trends changes in writing as well to many writers. Well, I also love to write. I have many things to write and it just ended up in my thoughts.

Yesterday, I got this book for me thinking that I deserved one, hehhee! By looking at the chapter, synopsis and a few lines at the front pages, I can tell It will be a good feed of ur soul. 

The title also eye-catching

The best part is ....it was written in short chapter and the sentences can be understood very well. 

Tempted? Make it as one of your collection! I think i will help you a lots in getting through ur journey.

By the way, i have read a few pages, my tears cant stop flowing when the words of the writer strike your heart supported by ayat quran, dalil and hadith. I wondered i am by far incomparable to those who are the lucky one (syahid fisabilillah)

Salam.

Istiqomah

Belakangan ini, ada beberapa kisah artis dan selebriti yg dikenali ramai buat kenyataan terbuka ttg penghijarahan mereka ke arah kebaikan menyatakan untuk kembali kepada  sebelum ini atas sebab2 dot dot dot. Sememangnya akan menjadi kontroversi lebih2 lg berkaitan agama. Bukan isu tu yg aku nak ketengahkan kat sini, esp pada ruangan sacred blog ak ni, aku bukan pendekat papan kekunci apatah lagi ilmuan agama yg selayaknya nk menjatuhkan hukum org yg aku barely kenal. Ni realiti masyarakat Malaysia yg rata2 nya cepat menjatuhkan hukum terhadap seseorang, even buat baik pon ada haters, buat jahat lagi la kan berganda-ganda haters.

Bagi aku, mmg menyedihkan baik dr kenyataan selebriti tersebut ataupun dr maklum balas sesetengah masyarakat mengenai isu tersebut. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Tahu tak, bila seseorang tu berkehendak to be better person tu pon dah banyak yang dia pertimbangkan. Bukan sesuatu yang mudah, dan tak semua orang berani ambil risiko untuk berubah to be better. The most important thing that this people need are SUPPORT! Kalau kita xboleh nak bantu dia dengan kudrat kita, kata2 semangat dan doa adalah kata2 magis! Xperlu ko nak bermantera, pegang wand utk spell magis ke apa, magis adalah something u cant see how does it works but u can see the outcomes. Bukan susah pon nak cakap, "Good efforts, sis!" and so on. 

Tu belum lg bila dia kena istiqomah dalam melakukan perubahan dalam kebaikan. Allah dah ingatkan kita Syaitan tu musuh utama manusia, dia x akan henti menyesatkan kita lebih2 lagi orang yang nak melakukan kebaikan ni, lagi besar dugaan dia. Takkan Syaitan nak sesatkan org yang seperangai mcm geng dia kan, dah itu mission dia sampai hari kiamat. Sesiapa yang ada rasa sifat iri hati terhadap kelebihan org lain atau rasa dia cukup baik dan sempurna, mintak tlg muhasabah diri balik. Tolong recalled balik asbab2 Allah murka dgn syaitan. Sempurna hanya sifat Allah SWT. 

Kita kena sentiasa berusaha improve kan diri kita. Siapa jamin walupun kita dilahirkan dalam Islam, kita amalkan cara hidup Islam? Siapa jamin yang kalau kita selalu kita selalu bersedekah, kita dijamin masuk syurga kalau hati kita bangga diri terhadap yang kita kerjakan? Siapa berani jamin kalau seorang yang bertaqwa pada Allah dulu hingga kini, esok lusa sesat? Tiada jaminan selagi Syaitan adalah musuh utama kita. Sebab tu Allah bila kita bulatkan hati untuk berubah, buat untuk diri kita sendiri niat kerana Allah. Allah akan dampingkan orang2 bertuah tersebut dengan para2 malaikat supaya apa yang diniatkan berubah ke arah kebaikan didatangkan dengan kemudahan. Mental kita kena kuat, bila kita buat untuk kebaikan diri sendiri niat kerana Allah, akan hadir kekuatan yang sangat kuat dalam diri dan ketenangan yang luar biasa, yang mana kata2 hina atau negatif dikalangan manusia tak mampu lemahkan pendirian kita untuk istiqomah dalam kebaikan. Kena bersangka baik dan percaya Allah berada dikalangan orang2 yang ingin berubah pada jalanNya. Letakkan redha pada Allah bukan manusia. 

Kita tak boleh nak memuaskan semua kehendak manusia, tapi percayalah yang sayangkan kita tetap berada dibelakang kita akhirnya. Sebaik-baiknya kalau nak berubah xperlu nak war-warkan pada umum. Kita masih berada dalam kelompok masyarakat yg judgemental, tidak semua yang sukakan perubahan yg kita buat disebabkan kisah masa lalu kita. Mulakan yang asas dahulu, sikit-sikit tapi istiqomah. Dekatkan diri dengan Allah, mulakan dengan solat 5 waku. Improvekan dari masa ke semasa dari segi bacaan, maksud bacaan dan perbuatan dalam solat. Bila kita faham apa yang kita buat, lama2 kita enjoy lakukan dia. Kalau boleh amalkan solat sunat taubat dan tahajjud seminggu sekali. Then upgradekan kekerapan. Insha Allah lama2 jadi amalan, tak buat rasa tak lengkap. Then, baca Al-Quran dan faham tafsir ayat tersebut. Dulu, aku baca tafsir dalam english, kefahaman xmenyeluruh. Lps khatam, aku cari tafsir bahasa melayu yang aku rasa mudah  dan jelas penyampaian erti dia. Makin ko baca and faham erti setiap firman yang Allah jelas kan Al-Quran tu, ko akan rasa tsangatlah kerdil dlm Bumi Allah ni dan masa ko nak menuju akhirat tu xbanyak sedangkan amalan ko terlampau sedikit. Tu membuatkan ko rasa perlunya ko berusaha lebih dari masa ke semasa. Insha Allah! 

Al-Quran ada menjelaskan bahawa Allah ad berfirman bahawa Allah takkan ubah nasib sesuatu kaum, melainkan dia sendiri yang ingin berubah. Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Pemurah dan Maha Pengasih. Kalau Dia berkehendakkan beri hidayah pada hambaNya, tak terlewat satu saat pun. Tengok sekeliling dengan mata hati, kau akan nampak kekuasaan Nya. Semoga kita sentiasa berada dalam rahmat Nya hingga hari akhirat, amin! 

Gardening and hobby: Succulent

Since I was little I love plants. I treat plants and animals just like human being, I talk to them. They are living creature, they understand us but we are the dumb one for not understand their language, hehehe! I think, I inherited most of the gene linkage during meiosis from my late mom. People can see my mom character in me but she by far more awesome than me. She loved gardening and she has a green hand too. Her garden look nice, but now she's not here my father and brother in-law maintaining the garden. When I come back home, I'm the one who take care of them. The last time, I went back, the lemon grass, herbs grew thinner and small. Plants can also feel the lost of the one who taking care of them daily. 

Stayed in a rental room in a flat building make you dont have much spaces for gardening. But still have a few indoor plant collections placed inside the room. I feels good to see green around you.

My Peace Lily in the stage to start blooming soon

My two succulents grew vigorously. Soon need to transplant them into bigger pots.

As you see above, not so much efforts and works need to be done for their maintenance. Fortunately, I have a friend who had a small area for his plant collections (glasshouse and rainshelter rented under his supervisors for research purposes). When I have a free time, I grab the opportunity to join him to do some gardening and maintenance works. Good to see the plants grow very well and sometimes it is so hurtful when you see your plant died or get sick due to the attacked of the pest, diseases or unfavourable condition. Just like human life, ups and downs.

How can you deny for being happy to see these bearing mulberries fruit? Hehehe

Of course they are all yours..

This is my first time seeing succulent's flower. So gorgeous😍

And these are my new succulent collections received my friend. Jauh mari! Look same bt yet so different, hahhaha! Ada paham?

May be what I feel about plants and gardening cant be feel by you, the satisfaction, happiness and all sorts of, sure you have something you love to do.. It feel like that!! 

Sadly, this favourite spot will be taken by gov to do construction for MRT soon this year. So, my friend has to find new place to move all his plant collection. He already find a new home for this beauties and they will moving in around november. So far, and it is my friend's rental house, i mean bujang. It wouldnt be nice if I go the his place just to visit the beauties. Something to be accepted, nothing is permanent. Well, this is it, just spend time with the beauties what is left (time). Thank you for the moment beauties! Gonna miss you all 

Me and Just Me

I am in competition with no one,

I just run my own race.. my own track,

I have no desire to play the game of better than anyone..in any way, shape or form,

I just aim to improve to be better than I am before,

I just want to be me,

The better me..

Unique Relationship: Hijrah Cinta

Inspired by true stories..

This is the stories about this guy and girl, unaware of each other existence become friend and then a best friend! As a single guy and a single girl, they are always mistaken by others as a couple or a lover. It is always a taboo accordingly to unknown common people love relationship book reference, they normally end up as one-sided love or fall for each other. But in their stories, it is a little bit complicated, and fast forward let say they end up to have this out of best friend zone as 'future relationship goal' as agreed by both parties where they found this is a way better than those unfuturistic relationship. 

Time passed, there was elements of very little romance but yet a lots of unknown pressures taken place in their futuristic relationship goal but not as best friendship they had! (Confious?? Let's keep reading.. That is not the highlighted part). As we can predict, their not going so well relationship end up also under agreement for both parties and back together as best friend. 

In normal scenario, can they be as best friend just like before? 

Since the guy had the same experienced before, he expected that the girl will leave him and their best friendship seems to imposibble and afraid that the girl will hated him for what had happened. Like other failure in relationship, people will blamed the guy for it. Buy he valued their relationship same as the girl. They had a real talk over the phone that night when they agreed to end that futuristic relationship. 

In most scenario, the girl will hated for the guy and leave him behind, and moved on!

Yes, the girl moved forward on her life for that not really going well relationship but stay as his best friend. This is what she want to tell the guy!

You did great after all this while!

And thank you, boy..

There is a time i felt regret sending the emails bragging over this not going well relationship,  the feeling you had for me and so on..

And your replied on the untold story on your past, unsettled one..it sound familiar to me as i predicted, 

Was the ground reason that you cant have heart for me though you hv tried as referred to you.. 

That was what my ears heard, 

But my mind and heart says otherwise,

The untold story was true but why i dont think that was the not totally the ground reason, 

Your past make you feel half hearted on this relationship, 

And..

Why i think you lied when you told me you dont have feeling for me,

Because i still can feel the love but not the warmth one, 

You sent the cold one,

You hold in and keep your feeling,

Being secure and guarded up around me,

May be you afraid of hurting.. I think..

But whatever it is,

It dont matter me much..

You and me have put efforts on it to make it really work,

But I dont being fair to you..

The reason i wanted to end all these because i dont find inner peace in my life anymore,

Everything i did seems to be wrong,

I lost my true self,

In the middle of trying to make the relationship work, 

I forget that what really works in your life is the only Creator of the universe, Allah SWT..

I did less and less on my tahajud, Quran and Yasin recital, my dua become shorten after solat..

Allah is the Most Gracious and Forgiven,

To Him i should return to,

He become my priority, 

I want to find back my inner peace, 

My true self,

Once i felt that you are the one who destined to be my imam and zaujah which have been written in Luf Mahfuz,

I believe It might be still..when the right time come despite all those preferences that we had for our future partner,

But what the most matter,

Allah is the Greatest Planner,

He is the one who hold our hearts,

That's His secret,

In order to have a great zaujah you have to be one too..

Alhamdulillah i found my inner peace i've searching for all this while..

Thank you for understanding and accept me for who I am..

I also want to hear that you said,

"You did great, girl!" too.

How can the girl hates the guys because the special bonded they had from the beginning as best friend!

This song delivered the rest of the stories

https://youtu.be/2DbHkjX-C1E

And this is the girl's favourite novel where it was then inspired into movie before she getting know the boy!

Always her favourite, why?

Watch it then you will understand

http://youtu.be/xH51h2Bf9ao