A weekend of Engagement

My past weekend was very hectic specifically occupied with family vacation and 2 engagement events that special to my life.

**My Friend, May got hitched (29th April 2017)**

I knew her since 2012 during my early phD study at first as postgraduates student (very common for us to use the same lab) and then turn into friendship due to have same interest to get fit and unexpectedly became close as good friends ( a bunch of 5 girls called ourselves 5 budak hitam). 

And unexpectedly it turned out that she was the 1st one who got hitched although she's the youngest among 5 of us. Seriously, it happened so fast. This is the prove of Qadha and Qadar Allah, it happens at the right time, so perfect and beautiful moment. After gone through pains and bad experiences with wrong persons, she worth enough to meet the best man that stand for her every single little time. I am really happy for her and I dont have any reason for not to attend her engagement day to witness Allah's miraculous (although I have a tight schedule to fit in between family vacation and my friend's happy day).

We roughly designed the mini pelamin set for the event. That was my handwriting on the screen board, artistic right >_<

My gorgeous and beautiful girlfriend that got hitched, it's May!

and this is a picture 5 of us (Lima Budak Hitam was named after our tanned looked after our vacation in Krabi Island last year). We only managed to get this best shot since Ina (2 from the right) was real photographer for the event and we are pretty busy doing errands.

 and give chance for me to snap my OOTD for the event

~the end~

 

**My little cousin now become a real gentleman, (1st May 2017)**

 

He was the first male cousin in my late mother's side who was a step further from the other to become a real gentleman, although the eldest one is my little brother (malay called it 'pecah telur'), salute and great job cousin. After tahlil and doa selamat recital a day before we with almost 10 cars delegation to propose the lady of my cousin's heart in Buloh Kasap, Segamat from Pedas Negeri Sembilan, a very long journey and I learnt many new Negeri Sembilan's customs ('adat') did by our ancestors since this is the first time propose a girl, thus we request our elders to have the conversation for our representative to discuss the details of the next step. Islam is religion of ease and simple but I can see our ancestors' customs that make it difficult some how, but it worth to experience those though. 

 

My twin cousin (Khuzainie and Khuzairie), My lil brother and Angah Lotfan (same series generation)

 

 My family photo after reaching the location

We are sisters

Dulang girls get ready

My beloved aunt with her future daughter in law after pull on the ring

Future husband and wife, may Allah ease the way..Amin

Congratulation, cousin!

OOTD for the event (please tahan muntah)

cheese >_< ok now can vommit hehehe

~the end~

Below are 7 etiquettes of seeking spouse in Islam

by Samana Siddiqui

1. Ask yourself: Why am I getting married?

Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together

2. Ask yourself: what am I looking for in a spouse.

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim).

This of course, applies to women as well.

3. If you're looking for a spouse lower your gaze.

This may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. Looking for a spouse who has the right qualities and whom you are physically attracted to does not mean throwing out the obligation to lower the gaze for both sexes.

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do” (Quran 24:30).

4. Get someone to help

Marriage is not something to throw yourself into all by yourself. Getting the help of someone, especially parents, relatives, an Imam, and/or respected and trustworthy members of the Muslim community to either look for the right spouse or initiate and participate in a communication process is very important.

Involving others, by the way, does not mean signing over your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It simply increases the likelihood of finding out important information about a prospective partner in a way that maintains rules of Islamic modesty (i.e. not meeting alone, see next point).

Getting that third party involved also helps verify if the person you are interested in is decent, honest and respectful. This person(s) often checks out references, asks about the individual's character and behavior, and looks out for your best interest in general.

5. Always ask for references

This is also where your “third party” comes in handy. Not only will they be able to be your reference. They can also check out a prospective mate's references.

A reference can include an Imam who knows the brother who proposed to you, a sister who knows the woman you may want to marry well, a family friend, a boss, a co-worker, and/or business partner.

A note about honesty and references: the people you ask may know something not very nice about your prospective spouse. Remind them that if they reveal this information, they would not be backbiting from the Islamic perspective. In fact, in the case of seeking marriage, complete information should be given about an individual, both good and bad.

6. When you meet, don't be alone

The Prophet said: “Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Shaytan makes a third” (Tirmidhi).

He also advised men: “Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative within the prohibited degrees” (Bukhari, Muslim)

7. When you speak, be businesslike and to the point.

The purpose of meeting and talking to each other must also remain within Islamic guidelines. That means no flirtatious speech of a sexual nature on either side.

Hope this could help you guys to find your future zauj or zaujah that bring the best in you and partner to the road of Jannah, Insya Allah.