Philophobic Psyco comes with a love note?

Assalammualaikum dan salam muhibbah!

Holla dear lovey-dovey peeps. I found this verse interesting while I reading the "5 Tahun 5 Bulan" malay novel written by HLOVATE. She's one of my favourite malay novelist because I found her writings are very realistic especially when she tried to tell about the real life of teenagers whom seek for excitement demands but the same time not deviate from the right path of Islam, and how they overcome it and distinguished it between good and bad, faith and lust. Most of the time, while reading her books it seem like it reflected myself in her character (obviously, the main character, hehehe).  Terrific isn't? Here's my recommendation, if u want to spend your time wisely, have a pleasure to read them.

Now, let have a peek into this verse. U might think that somehow most of the lines sound corny but you can't deny for them to be true and we experienced it in our life, though!

Have u ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing u hadn't?
Or saying nothing and wishing u had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say!

Don't be afraid to tell someone u love them
If u do, they might break ur heart..
If u don't u might break theirs

Have u ever decided not to become a couple becoz u were
too afraid of losing what already had with that person?
U can't tell ur heart what to do
It does it on its own
Without u even realize it

Have u ever wanted to love someone with everything u had,
but that other person was too afraid to let u?
Too many of us stay walled up becoz they are too afraid to care too much
For fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all

Have u ever denied ur feelings for someone
bcoz ur fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we afraid ..
Afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what other might think,
afraid of what will be found out about us
But every time we tell a lie,
The things we fear grow stronger..

Life is all about taking risks and it requires u to jump,
Don't be a person who has to look back
and wonder what they would have done,
or could have had

What would u do if every time u fell in love u had to say goodbye?
What would u do if every time u wanted someone they would never be there?
What would u do if ur best friend died tomorrow and u never got to tell them how u felt?
(even u don't care anymore)
What would u do if u loved someone more than ever and u couldn't have them?
What would u do if u never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family
and they know that I loved them?
People live and people die

If u died tomorrow (God forbid)
I just want to tell that..
U would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

(written by HLOVATE)

What is ur 1st impression when u read those verses above? Whom did the verses referred to? Based on the novel, actually those verses was a forwarded email from Bat (Johanna's best boy friend when studying Medic in Aberdeen) to Johanna after he found out that Johanna has a conflict towards someone she knew for the short period in Malaysia before she further studied in Aberdeen, Along which at first she just taken him as a sister-brotherhood relationship. But from day to days, their feeling towards each other seem complicated. Sometimes they got mad and jealous without any particular reason to be felt that way have yearned them to miss each others in this long distance relationship (cute though). So, this complicated relationship caused a tiresome and bothered Johanna. That's why Bat try to send email at least to ease Johanna's feeling after his counter verbal face to face with her failed. He knew it very well that Johanna is a guarded up girl when it came about lovey-dovey thingy. Okat, that's it. Want to know more, please kindly read the novel. :p

Love comes in many forms. Love towards your parents, sibs, bestfriends, boyfriend, friends, husband and wife and etc. Here, I want to specify on unknowingly feeling that begin to grow between a boy and girl whom started their bond as friends without any other intentions (like having a crush or whatsoever). I know many boys and girls out there have facing this kind complicated lovey-dovey issue in your life that keep bothering your peaceful mind. Tiresome, I know! Because I am in that circle too, yeay! Johanna's character in the novel really reflected myself. You might think that Johanna has a philophobic issue (philophobia defined as phobia to fall in love with someone).

From my point of view who pursued the same character, it is not all about the philophobia issue. On top of that, we just love ourselves more. We love and care ourselves from getting hurt or something that might break our heart. We know ourselves better than anyone else, looking hard from outside but fragile and soft inside. That's why, Allah make species like us very well wall-guarded heart so that we tend to not easily fallen in love with a guy. So, harmless flirt won't affected us at all. It is not because our heart built of crystal or titanium which is firm and rigid to be broken down. It is a gift as a self-defense (love-proof) for being hurt from our creator, Allah S.W.T.  Every happens for its reason, buddies!

Indeed, Allah is the Great Planner and ascertain of His Creations. Creatures and human-beings are made by pairs. May be, we don't be meant to be meet in this life but it is very certain we will be united in hereafter which is definitely eternally.  Thus, when we have complicated issue regarding this confusion feeling on someone, rely on HIM and you will not be disappointed. If you really like or love someone, channeled the love devotion through Allah instead of the person whom you loved because He's the one who gave that feeling to you to love and beloved. It is afraid if you tell that person which is uncertainly he/she meant to be with you, Allah will dim the love you devoted towards her/him. So, ask consistently in your prayer for HIS guidance whether that person are really meant to be with you or otherwise, Allah surely will lead you the way. If you really meant to be with her/him, how strongly you denied your feeling, how far you ran from her/him, you will be hers/ him at the (this is the reliance that I strongly believe) and you can feel the love towards her/him are contented, which is not based on lust. But if she/he didn't meant for you, pray that Allah will conciliate your heart to accept HIS provision. Amin!

I, on behalf of my species kind (the so-called philophobia) think that:

1) We are a loyal-lover, hard to find (hehehe)
2) We can patiently wait until the right destined man appear
3) We are seeking for a serious relationship (marriage) when we are READY. Really not into couple-relation-type (bila couple boleh menyebabkan kita jd ketamakan dimana sifat memiliki & mengusai seseorang itu menjadi2 sedangkan hubungan itu belum pasti, really troublesome!)
4) Our heart is highly guarded up
5) Others might seen us as rough, tough, brutal and outrageous but indeed we are shy, sweet and loveable ;)
6) Pro in keeping our feeling towards someone (it is better to be left unspoken and undiscovered)
7) We feel that when you loved someone you will try to care, protect and comfort her/him unknowingly by him/her (cukup sekadar dari kejauhan)

Have fun to watch this video. 

Really love the message behind it and love the T-shirt too says that " Sarcasm is the service that we offered".

A credit to the famous vlogger, Matluthfi90 for this video


So, lover-doveyers out there, stay peace and happy.
May Allah love all of us!

(It's 5th Ramadhan and it's my Birthday in Hijri calender. Happy to be born in this Mubarakah Month. May I will be a better Muslimah from time to time, Amin ~_____^)