Are you in Long Distance Relationship?

Assalammualaikum and happy day, peeps!

Have you ever been in long distance relationship (LDR)? For me, when we talk about relationship either it is long or short distance what matter is both you and your partner commitments to make this relationship work. I am neither by far an expert in relationship nor the right person to give advice for partners that having problems in their relationship since I've never been in serious relationship before, but I'm good at putting myself at other' shoes and come out with some sort of philosophies in relationship that could be work as guidelines based on my collective observations and experiences. 

So, here are 5 fundamental guidelines to make LDR works:

 Distance in relationship is something virtual that we are talking here. So, put some efforts in creative ways to spice up your relationship so that both of you doesn't feel being pushed away of one another. “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

Update each other with small little good things that happen in your life so that the other person will feel loved and attended to.

For example, when one of you having a hard time, it is better to leave things behind and lend your ears and time to comfort him/her. And when you have free time, make a surprise visit, and spend it wisely. BUT please make it clear difference between PRIORITY and being POSSESSIVE, okay!!

You are alone but you are not lonely, unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner because you still have you, your friends and your family. Take this opportunity of being apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby for self upgrading. There are plenty of things for you to do that doesn’t involve your partner.

Be open  and honest to each other. Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, hard times and whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

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However, the guidelines above are VOID if you don't try learn to

RESPECT, TRUST and LOVE someone from a distance.

I hope that it could be a help, Insha Allah!

But if you find being in relationship is struggling enough, being a SINGLE is a great OPPORTUNITY to self-love and grow as individual :)

"To love oneself is the beginning of the lifelong romance"

-Oscar Wilde-

Relationship is somewhat troublesome

Good day, peeps! 

I am so blessed to be surrounded and loved by good people including my dear family, friends and colleagues. This is one the prior reason why I am not desperately looking for a partner or be in serious relationship, I received enough love from these people. Yeah, you might say that form of love differ from the one you received from the loved one (i mean boyfriend, BAE or what so called name), but for me as long as these kind love are genuine, long lasting and secured, that's enough for me to be contained. 

Frankly speaking, I never been in serious relationship with someone before. Back on the old days, when there were a few guys who try to approach me to know more than just a friend,   in a good manner I just declined to do so (yes, friend zoned it is). I said I have already a boyfriend or fiance or any other excuses that I could give just to cut that to go any further, which I was’t at all. It is not like I am a choosy girl or what-so-ever, I am not even pretty to shush them away but it is just me is the problem. I just dont feel comfortable with myself when I am shy because I really dont know how to react or respond with that 'call'.

I have encountered some experiences before with my pretty close male friends, that I unknowingly know that they turn to like me more than a friend. I really thought that the way they act towards me were just not more out of concern as a good friend. I misinterpreted the signal and I still feel bad about it. How would I expected that they would like me when I am little bit boyish appearance, not even sweet talker and polite. And due to that, I prefer and comfortable to befriend with male friends who are already married and have serious partner (so I am secured that they will not fallen for me). 

However, there was one person that I gave special excuse for me to be in some sort of relationship and it lasted for a year I think before I made a decision to end it. I did mentioned about this special friend a few times before in the previous entries. Skip about how we first met. I didnt expect that we can become closer, and he did have a girlfriend before I knew him and due to some reasons, he broke up definitely not because of me. Yeah, unexpectedly again, I have a male close friend who is single. To cut it short, there were times he act differently, somewhat quite confused me and boost by a tragedy happen in our friendship that finally make took me a courage  (after ask a few close friends if mine and him) to ask him directly about the direction of our friendship whether as a friend, friend with benefit or someone special that he even picture me in his future (too symbolic, see not even as girl friend okay because I always seek for a serious one if I want to commit with). He answered the 3rd choice. It wasnt an easy task for me to take the step to ask him but at least I tried my best. . At least I gave myself opportunity to be in some sort of relationship, out of friend zone. I tried as good as possible to be one. But for one who had been single and independence for a long time then started to commit in some sort of relationship, who doesnt even know the rules, all I think is “it is okay for him if I do this” in this relationship  all the time and it was overwhelming to me. I finally realized that I really not ready to be in relationship yet, I’m still a self-love person ever, Allah know me the best. I made a decision we should stay  as a good friend. However, I still feel bad towards him up until now the way I gave excuses to him by provoking certain issues where there wasnt even an issue at all and dont even think about his side, I was being too childish and selfish. That I was regret. He is  truly a good friend and good husband material though. I still owed him a sincere apology. Will tell him later when right moment finally come, hehehe.

And when I watched this KDrama, Wok of Love's scene, I realized this is another reason why I found being in relationship is somehow troublesome to me  and I am not even think to be in one unless Allah leads me to this road and when the time has finally come. Main tarik tali in relationship was so lame and unprofessional. Especially me is the biggest problem, a bold, reckless and straight forward person,  stone headed and hearted, and I am so unpredictable. Tell me, what is worst than this, hehhee! That’s why when people ask me when, I want to get married, i gave them a lame answer, “when the time finally come” because i dont even know when I want to have a serious partner. When the time has finally come, Allah will leads you and the significant other together and you will know that he’s the one, insha allah. So, let Allah do his Almighty awesome work to write our love story and I will do my part to be a better me and better future wife and mother material, okay.

Everybody has their own time space, time frame. Be single, be in relationship and getting married, all these moments are so unpredictable and you put yourselves gambling every second in it. Just enjoy the ride, guys!

Last fling before the ring for May

Assalammualaikum and Good evening, peeps!

Finally, I have time to write my entry for my first girl in my Gadis5Bunga gang (May) that getting married on 25th of February 2018. 

So, we have decided to throw double celebrations for her (Bridal Shower and Belated Bday) at Regalia Residence Kuala Lumpur, a popular spot where the roof top pool facing towards KLCC. We booked the studio room size through airbnb around RM200++ for 3rd of February 2018. The room was really nice and have a great views especially at night.

Roof top view that facing towards the KLCC, if you want to swim here make sure to wear a proper swimming suit attire here

The night view from our fully glass window at our hall 

We spent our night activity with playing the stick by reminiscing our childhood game. Suprisingly, we found the prodigy of this game (CT)

Since CT finally found her talent in stick game, to be more challenging we change to UNO game. The game became more tricky after we mastered the rules and tricks, we played until almost 3am, hehehehe!

The next day, we requested the Bride-to-be to prepare our breakfast with love. Happy tummy!

Before we checked out, May have to read out loud our love letters to her (I requested  everyone of us to prepare the letter depend on their creativity). I wrote a story-book theme to her since I can only found cute exercise book when I went shopping, no card at all >_<.

Video especially made for May

To May,

We always pray for your happiness and wisdom in your marriage, it is another journey of your life and let's tighten up of friendship no matter how far and busy life getting. Sisterhood!

We LOVE you, May!

Small deeds that are OVERLOOKED are also SADAQAH

Assalammualaikum and Salam Jumaat, peeps!

The prophet S.A.W. said that "Enjoining, that is good is a Sadaqah"-Al-Bukhari-

So, I would love to share a video that being shared by the Tadarrus sisters about other ways of sadaqah that are being overlooked by others. It wasn't just by giving charity (in terms of monetary). Islam is simple but yet beautiful.

I am praying to all my muslim sisters and brothers out there by practicing sadaqah Insha allah Allah will purify our heart and soul, May our good deeds brings us to Jannah together.

Amin!

A Silent Grief of a Man called a Father

Assalammualaikum and a very good afternoon, peeps!

On last 5th January it turned out that it has been 2 years since my late mom left us back to her Creator, Allah SWT and it also meant that my father had been a single dad for 2 years too.

And all this while I realized that being a man and a father was never been easy especially when we live in a society that upholding the stereotype that "men don't cry" and "men are strong". It must be very difficult to be a man in grief since there is no way tears to be shed. 

I haven't seen my father shed his tear once in my life even the day when my mom passed away. I know that he just suppressed his sadness for his children. It is so unfair for this kind of stereotype because a man is human too who has feeling to be sad. Cry doesn't make you weak but it is also a way to be stronger. Don't worry dad even you cry in front of us, it will never lessen the fact that We love you and You are our 1st hero! 

I wrote this for a man called a father especially for my only dad

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A dad hurts too,

but I never see the tears that my dad cried,

Not once even when my mom died,

I know his heart broken too,

He tried to hold it together and be strong,

Even though his world gone wrong,

He goes through the days doing what he supposed to do,

Unknowingly that his piece of heart has been ripped away too,

So when he's alone he lets out his pain,

If I could imagined,

I want his tears falling like a heavy rain,

Like his world has crashed in around him

So that way my dad will feel the weigh of the burden around him become less,

and he can be stronger again.

Dad..

Although I didn't call or text you everyday,

It doesn't mean that I don't love or care for you,

I knew I took you for granted,

When you were the first one to call/text me,

I am sorry , dad..

I wish you know that,

It is just that I have get used to be this independent girl since I was young,

However I also trying hard to be a lovely girl that can be pampered by you,

Even it is not even close but since I'm only the girl that not married yet,

I want to have this golden opportunity to be a daddy's girl.

Dad,

I want you to know that you are the source of a my quiet strength,

Although you are not here with me,

Your presence will always be missed,

You are my very own guardian angel,

that always be with me till the end,

I love you dad.

"Orang penting ni"

Ada satu kisah yang aku nak kongsi dengan kalian. Kisah yang tak begitu 'fancy' atau glamer mana tapi memberi inspirasi pada orang marhaen macam aku ni. Semoga boleh kita jadikan tauladan bersama.

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Pada suatu tengah hari hujung minggu yang tak begitu sibuk seperti hari-hari bekerja, disebabkan kemalasan yang menebal dalam setiap salur darah yang mengalir dalam badan aku, aku buat keputusan untuk membeli sahaja makanan tengah hari di Food Court Sri Serdang. Tanpa membuang masa, aku menuju ke gerai makan kesukaan aku untuk beli lauk kegemaran aku iaitu ikan keli bakar, sayur ulam dan sambal tempe. Aku ni jenis orang yang kalau makan mesti nak berkuah, jadi aku ambil air asam campur sambal kicap and sedikit kuah ayam panggang, barulah umph makan dengan ikan keli bakar. 

Semasa memberi fokus menuang kuah-kuah tersebut dalam plastik, hidung aku yang sensitif ni menangkap bau sedikit hapak di sebelah kanan aku. Kemudian, sekilas pandang ada susuk lelaki tua yang kurus tinggi disebelah aku mengambil lauk dalam pinggan beliau. Rupanya lelaki tua tu yang biasa aku jumpa di kawasan perumahan aku terutama di gerai makan tepi tasik pada waktu malam dia lepak di situ seusai pulang dari masjid. Aku toleh dan sempat melemparkan senyuman sebelum aku berlalu pergi hendak ke kaunter bayaran.

Sewaktu aku beratur, seorang abang di belakang aku yang lagaknya seperti pelanggan yang sudah biasa di gerai itu memberitahu adik di kaunter bayaran, "Nanti kira sekali ye dengan pakcik Nayan punya. Orang penting ni!". Waktu abang tu cakap orang penting ni, otak aku terus ingat VIP or 'somebody' ke, sesuatu yang tidak menarik minat aku untuk tahu. Lepas tu sbang tu pun sambung, "Kalau dia tak de, siapa nak gali kubur kita, tanamkan kita". Aku terus 'turn on' dengan statement abang ni. Seraya dengan itu, abang tersebut memanggil seseorang yang digelar Pakcik Nayan. Aku teruja nak tahu siapakan gerangan orang penting ni yang daripada yang yang dibualkan tadi pakcik ni penggali kubur. Aku menoleh ke belakang dan tanpa aku sangka lelaki tua yang berbau sedikit hapak tadi la pemilik gerangan Pakcik Nayan tadi. Pakcik Nayan dengan segan menolak permintaan abang tadi kerana merasakan dia terpaksa 'skip' beratur yang panjang tu, tetapi dengan rasa hormat pelanggan-pelanggan yang beratur panjang tadi laluan Pakcik Nayan untuk bahagian depan kaunter  untuk adik kaunter kira supaya bil boleh dibayar oleh abang belakang aku tu. 

Apa yang aku saksikan tadi adalah suatu keindahan dalam hidup bermasyarakat atau lebih spesifik ialah hidup bermasyarakat Islam. Masya Allah! Bahagia sungguh aku rasa tatkala itu sebab dalam keadaan masalah dunia yang memeningkan ini masih ada nilai kasih sayang dan hormat menghormati terutama pada insan yang tiada pangkat dalam masyarakat tapi masih menjadi orang yang penting bagi masyarakat setempat. Di situ aku nampak sebuah harapan.

Apa yang yang hendak 'highlight'  sebagai tauladan daripada kisah di atas ialah:

1) Jangan memandang rendah pada kerjaya seseorang kerana setiap kerja itu selagi halal sama pentingnya pada orang itu sebagai sumber pendapatan dan pada orang lain yang memerlukan khidmat mereka.  Jangan sombong, sebab suatu hari nanti memang kita perlukan orang lain untuk memandikan, menkafankan, mensolatkan serta mengkebumikan kita.

2) Sentiasa berbuat baik sesama manusia walupun nilai itu semakin berkurangan dalam masyarakat kita. Insha allah kalau kita mulakan diri, yang lain akan contohi. Tak salah buat orang lain happy kan.

3) Jangan cepat 'judge'atau 'assume' orang lain. Sifat menghakimi itu hanya sifat zat pada Allah SWT sahaja. 

Aku harap, apa yang aku sampaikan kat sini jadi pengajaran untuk aku dan pembaca lain untuk menjadi yang lebih baik. Amin!

Random: Taurus Girl vs Virgo Boy

Salam and Good-day, peeps 😁!

When I sneaked into my FB account I found this very random status on the super compatible pairing based on zodiac sign. Please be reminded, I am a Muslim and not a person who rely on zodiac readings and by far to believe it at all. This is just for fun since it related to my zodiac (Taurian) and someone  related to me (Virgan). The astrology make some counting and verdict that both Taurian and Virgan fall in the same element which is an Earth element and this pairing is said to have an easy-going and familiar relationship. I cant help myself to smile, not because to agree or disagree with the so-called pairing but more likely to agreed that what was explained about us individually. I think there is a logic reasons why a Taurian and Virgan make a super compatible partner because we are so different yet the difference that make us to complete each other. However, we, individually that holds the character and character is something that can be changed over time. That's make the zodiac sign readings seems irrelevant to me. Like I said, it is just for fun. 

 

 

There is a wise quote on relationship that seems relevant to every relationship that make it long lasting that I want to hold onto:

Learn to ACCEPT the goods and flaws of our partner, 

not TOLERATE because TOLERANCE have certain degree to be hold.

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I've been witnessing a lots of happy long lasting husband and wife, 

it is not always a romantic couple of all times, 

not a couple that always see a rainbow without thunderstorm,

also not a couple who just walk away from the hard times,

but..

They are the couples that sometimes argued with each other although to a small little things,

and they keep on annoyed to each other..

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The important things are what make them stay in LOVE with each other:

Do APOLOGIZE first not because you are wrong but you VALUE the relationship than your EGO,

Do ENCOURAGE each other during HARD TIMES,

TALK about the problems, NOT IGNORE them,

Do TRUST, HONEST and RESPECT each other to let each other GROW,

and REMEMBER that it is always US not YOU/ME in relationship.

May ALLAH bless US with an ETERNAL HAPPY LIFE here and hereafter. AMIN!